Today I am wearing new shoes (black leather lace up boots) and they REALLY hurt. Walking through London trying to smile through the pain, I was thinking about the saying “walk a mile in someone’s shoes” – that you can’t really know what someone’s life is like unless you experience it for yourself.
I got a snapshot of two very different viewpoints yesterday from women in UK with very different lives:
1. A female columnist in free weekly mag. Stylist, who was talking about her refusal to take on her husbands surname, fearing she would lose her identity along with her madian name.
2. A 18 year old girl getting married on Channel 4 documentary My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding who was describing her soon-to-be life of staying in the home cleaning, cooking, looking after the children and checking with her husband if she wants to go out anywhere.
It got me thinking about how extreme both views are. How some women feminism doesn’t even enter their heads, and for others they worry about how being with a man might change their feminist identity.
I can’t picture either of these two women’s lives as my own. I couldn’t imagine walking in their shoes. But I can understand the Stylist’s writers’ views more because I have been brought up in a completely different culture to the young Traveller girl where I see men and women as equals.
On a positive note, I liked how both women were able to live with their views, with their own cultures. Because surely feminism is about choice? Being able to live the way you want – have a career, vote or stay at home and have a family, both options are open to us now.
Right now, I’ll stick to my own shoes (even if they hurt) but it’s interesting to see how other people walk!
Vix x
Artswebshow
/ February 2, 2011I like what you did here.
Truly even walking a mile in someones shoes wont give us a proper idea how others live.
My shoes are nice and confortable. lol
Live and let live i say
vixter2010
/ February 2, 2011Thank you for your comment! I’m glad your shoes fit well
Lisa
/ February 2, 2011You are so right that feminism is about choice. I have to remind myself of that when I have moments of looking at someone else’s shoes and saying, “I don’t know how they can walk in those.”
vixter2010
/ February 2, 2011This Italian Family
/ February 2, 2011Love Audrey Hepburn.
You’re right – we can never understand someone else’s viewpoint until we are in their shoes.
I agree so much that feminism is a choice! I didn’t get that in my early college years. I felt SO strongly that I would never be the stay-at-home-wife type who cooked and cleaned and etc. BUT… as I grew and changed, I realized that I really have a passion for cooking and keeping a home looking nice. I know that sounds about as 50s housewife as I can be, but it’s true. And I mean, I do work outside the home, but I no longer judge those women who don’t. That’s the great thing about the feminist movement – we have the CHOICE.
vixter2010
/ February 2, 2011That’s such a good example!! X
Elin @andserenitytoo
/ February 2, 2011Totally agree! The possibility to choose is the most valuable one we have – while having an open mind that not everyone makes the same choice.
But the tradition of having one family name for the whole family is really nice too – my family has four (one for my father, one for my mother, one for me and my sister and one for my brother) 
Funny thing about the surname; in Iceland we never change our surnames after marriage. But we have an old tradition of constructing them which is different from most countries – my surname is made up of my father’s first name plus daughter at the end (Gunnarsdóttir). So my brother’s last name is Gunnarsson. If I were to take my boyfriend’s name when we got married that would just be weird… it would sound like I were his father’s son
vixter2010
/ February 2, 2011That’s a really good point about accepting the choices of others.
Interesting about the names, I had no idea you guys did that, just shows how culture impacts on the way we view things like identity!
Angelia Sims Hardy
/ February 3, 2011What I like about these choices is that they are their own choices. They own their decisions and don’t worry about what other people think.
That is hard to do in this day and time.
I always seek compassion first before judging.
BTW, your boots sound really cute.
vixter2010
/ February 3, 2011So true, it’s empowering to see women making choices for themselves!
Aw thanks, i just need to break them in