Okay I admit that sometimes I worry I might be turning into Bridget Jones. Not because of an addiction to smoking and Chardonnay but because of my fantasy of true romance, which has been clouded by countless happily-ever-after films mixed with my cynical view of love, thanks to broken hearts and bad dates.
Sometimes I can picture myself singing ‘All by Myself’ with mascara running down my cheeks ….
So when I spotted ‘The Lonely Hearts Club’ by Elizabeth Eulberg in Waterstones, I eagerly picked it up. I couldn’t help it – the words spoke to me and when I read the cover and saw it was about a girl called Penny Lane Bloom (her family are Beatles fanatics) who is so annoyed with how boys treat her, she starts an anti-dating club, I had to buy it.
This book is funny and realistic in its take on the battle of the sexes but what I liked is what starts out as an anti-boy club, actual turns into a female empowerment one. Girls who were once afraid to be who they wanted to be because they were so caught up in what boys thought about them, suddenly felt empowered to do what they wanted to do. The main character grows from hating all men into realising what she actually wants from a relationship and that being true to yourself, means you find friends and love for all the right reasons.
Sometimes I get so caught up thinking about being single and that I’m so unlucky in love, I forget to remember the control I have over the situation. That I don’t need to sit around and wait for a man to sweep me off my feet, I can work on being who I want to be and not worry about what people think.
Lots of people tell me I should try online dating, to go on Match.com and get myself on dates. But what I’ve realised is, I don’t really want that yet. I barely have much spare time as it is with my full time job and long commute, and that spare time I want to use to write. What is important to me at the moment is to finish my second manuscript and make my start as a published writer, before searching for that elusive true love.
And if I have to be the sole member of my own Lonely Hearts Club until then, then fine, I’m not going to worry. I want to accomplish other dreams first and I know then the whole relationship thing will fall into place because I will be happy and ready for someone to come into my life and share it with me.
Have you ever wished you could join an anti-dating club? Have you ever chosen career over love or vice versa?
Vix x
Nicole
/ February 21, 2011Don’t let anyone tell you that you NEED a guy to be happy or fulfilled. You’re right. You can use this time to discover yourself and just enjoy the things you wouldn’t be able to do if you were dating. There’s no rush…
vixter2010
/ February 21, 2011Thank you so much, great advice!
This Italian Family
/ February 21, 2011Total ditto to everything Nicole said!!
vixter2010
/ February 21, 2011Thanks
Lisa
/ February 21, 2011Okay Bridget . . . sorry I couldn’t resist.
Seriously, I was a member of the Lonely Hearts Club for a really long time. I had accepted that, and decided I was going to have a wonderful life with or without a man at my side. As soon as I did that, Nathan came into my life. But, honestly, sometimes life is easier as a single person. You don’t have to check in with someone else to plan your fabulous trip to Paris, or if you feel like having a lazy day looking like a total slob (of course we often do that. Just enjoy your life and things will fall into place.
vixter2010
/ February 21, 2011Lol
Thanks for sharing that. You’re right, it’s about enjoying life whatever it throws at me! And yes, I can def slob around and no-one cares yay.
simplyshaka
/ February 21, 2011I love the idea of an anti dating club (I have had too many bad dates to count) Personally, right now I am not dating b/c I will probably be moving in the next 6 months to another city/part of the country so there is really no use for me to.
vixter2010
/ February 21, 2011Haha I know what you mean
Sensible decision, why start something that has to end!
tknologlvr
/ February 21, 2011Keep growing in YOU! When the right one enters your life, you will have no regrets – shoulda, coulda, woulda.
vixter2010
/ February 21, 2011Thanks, good advice!
Sophia @ Raven Waves
/ February 21, 2011That book sounds really good! I’d say to be true to yourself, and that if your goal is to be a published writer then there’s nothing wrong with concentrating on that for now. Everything will end up falling in place sooner or later. I believe that everything happens for a reason
vixter2010
/ February 21, 2011Thanks for the pep talk! I’ve always loved that saying and I try and believe it
melissasmeanderings
/ February 21, 2011The book looks cute:) And you 100% have the right idea. Work on growing yourself and the life that you want for yourself and by doing so you’ll attract the kind of people to you…friends and men who will fit into your picture!
vixter2010
/ February 21, 2011It was a fun read! Thanks Melissa, I will
Janine Ripper
/ February 22, 2011I’ve always wanted to read that book. Must check it out.
And as to choosing other things over men, I did for a while as I didn’t have my 1st boyf till I was 23-ish, using any excuse in the book. I needed to concentrate on ‘study’, ‘didn’t want to be tied down’, wanted to explore the world, didn’t like Aussie men, work was more important, etc etc. I’m happy now I’ve met someone, but now I actually wish I’d waited and not ‘rushed’ into the relationship I entered at the age of 23, as it wasn’t that good at all. At least I learned…
As to the dating thing, I have one friend who met her husband through an online dating website, and another who has met the loveliest guy through a dating agency called ‘Just coffee. Of course, then there is my friend who has just had to report the guy she met online for assault and for lying on his profile as he is targeting young women…so it can be a wonderful experience, but it can also suck. Just be careful.
vixter2010
/ February 22, 2011Thanks for sharing that. Like you say, it’s important to learn from relationships and know what you want from them. I’m glad you’re happy now with your partner! I know, I know so many dating stories some good, some bad, it’s a gamble I think
tinkerbelle86
/ February 22, 2011I love this post! I had the very same thought at the weekend when I realised that yes I was sitting in my pjs dunking Yorkshire puddings into gravy and watching marley and me. at 24. But who cares?! Ill just go out next weekend ….
vixter2010
/ February 22, 2011Thanks Laura! I’m glad i’m not the only one
Marley & Me made me cry so I would have made a worse picture!