All posts in category Musings

When belief slips

Last week I saw Leona Lewis live and at the end of her show, she left this thought up for the audience:

Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

The show was a journey through love and heartbreak (matching the theme of her album Glassheart) and this ending to me said that just because you’ve loved and lost, something wonderful is around the corner. Don’t give up believing in love just because a love has ended. But you can apply it to life in general.

The phrase has stuck with me ever since. It reminded me of my ‘believe’ tattoo, which I got to inspire me to believe both in myself and that my dreams will come true. It’s hard sometimes to keep up this positive line of thought. When you’ve had disappointments or you’re just stuck waiting to find out what will happen, you start to question yourself and that demon on your shoulder pops up – you know the one, the one that says what you want won’t happen or tells you you’re not good enough for it to. The one that fills you up with self-doubt and conjures up the fear that that wonderful thing your waiting for will never appear.

I wrote a poem recently where I let out all the worries I had. Reading it back now you can see that the self-doubt demon was well and truly present:

Scared I’ve made a mistake

Waiting for my dreams to come true

Feeling like I’m not good enough

All my positivity feels fake.

My ambition is mocking me

The grey clouds of doubt circle above

All I hear is silence

Maybe I no longer believe.

Haunted by fear I’ll fail

Wishing I could see a sign

Trust in me fading fast

My hope preparing to set sail.

So I’m trying to get my confidence back and to stay positive that good things are around the corner. I think belief is something you have to re-do over and over again. Something you have to use to push that self-doubt demon away on a regular basis. We all know writers struggle with believing in ourselves and I really am struggling right now.

I was grateful for the message in that concert. I really needed to hear it and I’m going to try to feel it this week.

How do you get back belief when you feel it slipping away?

Victoria

xoxo

14 Comments

by Victoria-writes on May 14, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in inspiration, Musings, Poetry

Tagged inspiration, musings, poetry

Posted by Victoria-writes on May 14, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/05/14/when-belief-slips/

Dealing with reader expectations

This week the final book in the Sookie Stackhouse vampire series by Charlaine Harris (adapted as True Blood for TV) is being released. I’ve enjoyed this series from book one and am looking forward to reading the last one but the author has discovered that some fans can be a little over zealous when it comes to a successful books series. In this interview she describes the pressure that she’s feeling, the threats she’s had from ‘fans’ over her ending the series and how they expect the series to end, especially who Sookie will end up with. It has caused Ms Harris to decide not to do any promotion for the last book, which is a huge shame for readers who would have loved her to sign the final book regardless of how the book ends.

The books series is a long one – the final book is number thirteen and as a writer I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is to write that many books about the same characters, to juggle the number of characters and plot lines the series has and to still make each book it’s own story. It’s a real achievement and it’s a shame that some readers can’t enjoy the books there are and realise it’s time for the author to move on. I’d rather the series ends than read sub-par books that make it obvious the author just doesn’t care anymore. After reading the last book, I have my own ideas who I want Sookie to end up with BUT I’m well aware this is Ms Harris’ story to tell and it’s up to her to end it how she want to.

It’s kind of a double edge sword – you’d love your series to be popular and to have passionate fans but it must be so scary to receive death threats and abuse from them. On her Facebook page the author revealed that someone has posted the series ending and asked fans not to spoil it for others. I stopped reading the comments because people were even posting the ending on there after such a polite request not to. I just don’t understand why you would want to do that. I want to read the book for myself – it’s the only way you’ll understand why an ending was chosen and you might find you like it after all.

I hope Ms Harris can be proud of her series and that she will continue to take pleasure in writing. And I hope the fans will understand why she wanted to end the series on a high and why she chose the ending did. And above all remember that it’s only fiction after all

How do you think you’d deal with reader expectations on how a series should end?

Victoria

xoxo

10 Comments

by Victoria-writes on May 6, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Books, Musings, Writing

Tagged book, Charlaine Harris, musings, Sookie Stackhouse, writing

Posted by Victoria-writes on May 6, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/05/06/dealing-with-reader-expectations/

No need to call it a guilty pleasure

I remembered a recent blog post by author Matt Haig last night. It’s called 30 things to tell a book snob and you can read it here. In the post, he talks about people fearing enjoying certain books because they’re told they’re not good enough. I like his first point the most “People should never be made to feel bad about what they are reading. People who feel bad about reading will stop reading.”

The reason this post came to mind was that I finished a book yesterday that I loved. It’s called SLAMMED by Colleen Hoover and it was one of those books that grabbed hold of me and didn’t let me go until the last page. I even shed a little tear at the end. SLAMMED is a story about a girl called Layken who moves to a new town with her family and falls for her dishy neighbour Will but a shocking revelation halts their romance and they have to decide whether to fight for their love or let each other go. It’s got romance but also deals with tragedy too and all of it is wrapped up with slam poetry. I can’t even explain why I enjoyed it so much and for me that means it’s something special. I don’t really want to think about why I like something or why others don’t – I just want to feel it.

Each chapter in book has lyrics from The Avett Brothers and this one stood out for me:

I love books that make me feel something. They don’t have to be considered high-brow or be literary masterpieces, they just need to make me feel something – happiness or sadness or just that feeling when you question life and love. Sometimes the books that have kept me turning the page feverishly have been panned by critics and I’ve realised that doesn’t matter. I loved them anyway. The same goes for music and films and TV shows or even art – anything creative really. Some of the things I enjoy might be critically acclaimed or popular or neither, it should’t matter if you find something to enjoy in it I don’t think.

As a writer, I long for someone to feel something after reading my work. I’d love them to read the last line of a book that I’ve written and feel they just read something special. To just enjoy my book. Because that’s what all creative things should be about – yes they could make you think, make you question things, show you something new but really what it’s about is making you feel an emotional connection to them.

So I’m not going to call things a guilty pleasure anymore – if you enjoy something there’s nothing to feel guilty about.

Have you ever been made to feel guilty about liking something?

Victoria

xoxo

13 Comments

by Victoria-writes on April 26, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Musings

Tagged Colleen Hoover, musings, Slammed

Posted by Victoria-writes on April 26, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/04/26/no-need-to-call-it-a-guilty-pleasure/

You are more beautiful than you think

I saw this video being shared around the internet and I finally watched it this morning. It’s six minutes long but I’m glad I took the time to watch it. Here it is:

Obviously this has been produced by a company trying to sell products but I think the message in the video is so important. Dove says that only 4% of women say they’re beautiful. In the video the women are asked to describe themselves so a sketch can be drawn and unsurprisingly they pick out all their flaws. Then someone is asked to describe how they see them and another sketch is made. The differences between the two pictures are marked. When describing themselves, they were critical and when others described them they were complimentary. They saw themselves as less beautiful than others saw them.

I think there are so many of us who struggle with how we look, are critical with how we look and spend too much time thinking about how we would change our appearances. I have definitely looked in the mirror before and thought about all the flaws I have. I just like the simple message in this video – that we are more beautiful than we think.

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we all have flaws, no one is perfect but this doesn’t stop us being beautiful, it’s our uniqueness that makes us beautiful.

Victoria

xoxo

23 Comments

by Victoria-writes on April 17, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Beauty, inspiration, Musings

Tagged beauty, inspiration, musings

Posted by Victoria-writes on April 17, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/04/17/you-are-more-beautiful-than-you-think/

Sharing your dream

This photo was on Facebook the other day and it struck me how true a statement it is. I remember how scared I was about telling people I had written a book, it felt like I was revealing a part of my soul and I was nervous they’d laugh or sneer. Luckily that didn’t happen but even now I’ve got over the sharing part, having your dream out in the open still produces insecurity and anxiety.

The problem with sharing your dream is that everyone starts waiting for that dream to come true.

Now that people know I want to be a published author, I am sometimes struck with panic about it not coming true. Having a secret dream is easier, if you fail no one knows and you can act like nothing happened but when everyone knows what you’re aiming for, they will also know if you don’t achieve it.

The only way I’ve been able to talk myself out of this fear is remembering that not everyone tries to make their dreams come true. And this is so important. Because you can’t fail if you try, you only fail if you don’t or you give up. It’s often said that you should never regret the things you do, only those you don’t and it’s better to say ‘oh well’ than ‘what if?’ What if is a scary concept and I’m glad that I decided to chase my dream. Yes, I worry about having to tell people my dream isn’t coming true but I know I’d be worse off if I wasn’t trying to make it come true.

Fear is a huge thing. Somehow writers seem to end up with self-doubt circling our heads on a daily basis but we write because we love to do it and the dream that someone will read our words and be moved or inspired by them makes the dark days worth it.

I don’t know if my dream will come true and yes I am scared that it won’t but I’m glad I’m trying to make it happen.

Were your scared to share your dream with people?

Victoria

xoxo

11 Comments

by Victoria-writes on April 12, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in inspiration, Musings, Writing

Tagged inspiration, musings, writing

Posted by Victoria-writes on April 12, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/04/12/sharing-your-dream/

Have YA writers never grown up?

Last weekend I finally got around to watching the film Young Adult. The title of this post is a quote from the film, the context is this:

Mavis: “You can come to the city with me like we always planned.”
Buddy: “Mavis, I’m a married man.”
Mavis: “I know we can beat this thing, together.”

The film is about a ghostwriter of a previously popular YA series that’s now being cancelled (I imagined Sweet Valley High obv) called Mavis who heads back to her hometown convinced she belongs with her high school sweetheart Buddy despite the fact he’s married with a new baby. It’s a dark comedy and I really enjoyed it but be warned Mavis is not a likeable character – selfish and insensitive and likely an alcoholic. She also can’t get high school out of her head.

It got me thinking about us YA writers – we are writing about teenagers for teenagers and I can see how you can get stuck in your past as you remember things that happened to you at that age or write a book about things you wish had happened to you. Mavis as a character is of course extreme and I’m sure no YA writer is that mean (well, I hope not) but watching her lying on the sofa with the Kardashian’s on in the background and her writing not going anywhere, I did catch a little glimpse of myself She also has a little dog that I want …

But for me writing YA is fun. I love reading it. I like writing and reading about the thrill of a first kiss, falling in love for the first time, overcoming bad situations, finding yourself. There are no limits. Thinking about my book I don’t think there is much of my teenage years in there (although it is set in the part of the world I live) but maybe I write the kind of book I would have wanted to read when I was a teenager. And the kind of one I want to read now as an “adult”. More adults read YA than teenagers and maybe it’s because we are all nostalgic for our earlier years, maybe we don’t want to grow up or maybe whatever age you are, you want to fall in love with stories and characters whatever shape and age they come.

And even though us YA writers spend a lot of time in the world of YA, I doubt many of us would actually want to go back to our teen years. For one thing we know what we like now and most importantly we can afford to buy our own books

So I’ll leave you with another quote from the film when someone from Mavis’ high school spots her in a local bar:

Matt: You move back?

Mavis: Of course not… gross.

Do you think YA writers haven’t grown up?

Victoria

xoxo

8 Comments

by Victoria-writes on April 11, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Films, Musings, Writing

Tagged films, musings, writing, young adult

Posted by Victoria-writes on April 11, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/04/11/i-know-we-can-beat-this-thing-together/

Limbo Land

I think the biggest obstacle with non-writers when talking to a writer is understanding how publishing works. And it’s completely fair enough – until I started looking into how to get published, I didn’t have a clue either. It’s difficult, yes and it’s also SLOW. I’ve heard several writers lately talk about being in limbo at one point or another – it could be waiting to hear back from an agent who has asked to read your book, which can take months, it could be waiting to see if your book will be brought by a publisher or waiting for your book to be edited by your agent or editor. It can also be the wait that comes after you sign a book deal – at least a year before your book is available to buy.

From the start of your publishing journey comes the waiting. You have to try to be patient. And wow I struggle with this. I have discovered by trying to get published that I am an impatient person and can often drive myself crazy refreshing my email inbox. It’s like waiting for a pot to boil So it’s hard when people ask you about your book and what’s happening – they assume things will move at the pace of normal things but hell no, publishing has it’s own pace. And yes it’s frustrating to have to say you’re waiting on something all the time. But it’s usually true!

I’ve discovered two Tumblr’s that attempt to describe life as an author through hilarious gifs. I’ve tried to embed ones that made me giggle because I’ve been there but I can’t work out how to do it so I’ll just send you to the sites and you can have a browse if you want an insight or to know you’re not alone out there. Title To Come and Life in Authoring.

Every time I talk to a writer who is waiting for something, I feel their pain. Because it is painful but we keep going because we love writing and we dream of our books being published and being read by tons of non-writer folks. So be patient all, our books will get out there one day it just takes time.

I think it’d best to represent our plight with images and it’s always a good idea to turn to Liz Lemon in any situation really so here she is to illustrate writers in limbo land:

If you ask a writer how getting their book published is going, they may reply like this:

But really they’re doing this:

So send us all the sympathy guys:

Thanks for reading and supporting us non-writers and to my writer friends in limbo land *group hug*

Victoria

xoxo

14 Comments

by Victoria-writes on March 5, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Musings, Writing

Tagged getting published, musings, writing

Posted by Victoria-writes on March 5, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/03/05/limbo-land/

Turning thirty

Today is the start of March – the month that I turn thirty in (the 20th just so you know!). I don’t know why it seems like such a significant birthday. I think it used to be the age when you were supposed to have everything sorted out, be married with a family and basically become a GROWN-UP. The media definitely seemed to think that once you hit your thirties and you are single, you were a spinster likely to be eaten by Alsatians. See Bridget Jones for starters.

When I was younger, I saw thirty as a big, scary, far-off age, kind of old actually but now I’m here, I realise I don’t feel that different to when I was that teenager. I don’t feel all that grown-up and thirty doesn’t seem to herald the end of everything if you have’t ticked off all the life lists when you get there. Maybe this is because people are doing things older now, we live longer so thirty is seen as still young and it’s harder to do the life lists things like buying a house as it’s so freaking expensive.

There’s a still a whole bunch of articles around about what you should have done by the time you hit thirty or how to cope with your birthday (yes I may have Goggled turning 30) but getting to this age has taught me that you can’t be what others think you should be – you can only do what you want to do and when you want to do it.

There’s a song by the Dixie chicks that I can relate to called”The Long Way Around”:

Well I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I’m gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Takin’ the long way
Takin’ the long way around

It makes me feel better that maybe I’m not married with kids or living in my own house but that’s okay, I can do things my way. Right now, I’m focused on my writing career. It took me a while to realise that writing was what I wanted to do with my life and fighting to make this dream come true is what’s important to me. My thirty wish is to get a book deal and while some people may think that’s great or others can’t understand, it doesn’t matter – what matters is that it’s my wish. You can’t live your life based on other people’s wishes, we all do things in a different way and a different time. There’s no RIGHT way to live your life. It’s your life after all.

I have got lots of lovely things planned this month to make sure turning thirty is full of fun. And I may have a couple of wobbles about hitting this age but I will remember this:

How do you or did you feel about turning 30?

Victoria

xoxo

36 Comments

by Victoria-writes on March 1, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in inspiration, Life, Musings

Tagged inspiration, life, musings, turning thirty

Posted by Victoria-writes on March 1, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/03/01/turning-thirty/

Writing habits part 2

Last week I posted about being stuck in my writing habit of writing indoors. Lots of you chipped in with your habits and there was an even-ish split of people writing at home and those venturing out – some can write anywhere and others have to stick to their preferred place.

As it appeared I might be stuck in a rut, I decided to venture out and try writing somewhere other than my house. I went to London and hit the National Gallery. I wandered round checking out the paintings (my favourites are the Impressionists though I don’t pretend to know much about art) then hit the cafe. Armed with a sandwich, cup of tea, notebook and pen I found an empty corner and sat down to write. Here’s the evidence:

I did feel self-conscious and couldn’t help looking around me a bit. Then my corner was invaded by people and it all got more noisy and distracting. A girl next to me had her laptop out but the rest of the cafe was filled with people just talking and eating. I did get some writing done though by shutting out the crowd and it was quite fun writing longhand again – I used to write longhand then type everything up but it felt laborious so now I just type it out straight away. Also my handwriting is hideous so I always feel like a bad writer when I see it

I wrote nine pages in my notebook of a new story that I’ve had the idea of for a while. I’m not sure if I’ll use any of what I wrote but any writing is fun and good practice. The cons were the price of food and drink (expensive!) and the distractions. I don’t think I’m fully sold on writing in a cafe. I guess I’m spoilt having a quiet house to myself to write in. I would try other places in the opportunity came up but I didn’t find a new writing habit that day.

After I finishing writing, I walked over Waterloo bridge and took this lovely photo of the sun over London. You can easily forget the sights that are near where you live so I took a minute to appreciate the scene. I then met some authors in the nearby Royal Festival Hall and had a cuppa with them before heading home. The day ended badly after I got FIVE blisters on my feet after wearing leather boots I hadn’t broken in so remember that leaving the house does have it’s perils guys

How did you choose the place you write in?

Victoria

xoxo

33 Comments

by Victoria-writes on February 8, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Musings, Writing

Tagged musings, writing

Posted by Victoria-writes on February 8, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/02/08/writing-habits-part-2/

Writing habits

I wondered yesterday whether it’s important to develop writing habits, whether you need to set up a routine to make writing work for you or whether you should go with the flow and write wherever and whenever you can. I realised that I have developed a writing routine without really meaning to – I write at the dinning room table on my laptop. I tend to do better early on with my attention waning by the afternoon. I don’t know if this has happened by accident or whether this is my writing habit – the optimum environment for me to write well. Would I struggle if I changed my environment?

I’m guessing that quite a few writers have a writing routine – a certain place or time that works the best for them. JK Rowling famously wrote Harry Potter in cafes in Edinburgh.

I’ve never written in public. Kind of feels like a confession. But it’s true – I’ve never felt the need to take my writing out into the big wide world. Some of this I’m sure is a slight fear or embarrassment about people noticing me writing but mostly I wonder if I would concentrate as I like to people watch plus I don’t drink coffee – yes another confession, I hope this hasn’t shocked my fellow writers – so I’m not that attracted to coffee shops. Plus I’d probably eat too many cupcakes!

But I’m intrigued about writers who have a place they like to go to write. Perhaps they are inspired by the people around them or are too distracted by other things at home. The internet I’m sure holds many a writer back so maybe getting out of the house means they can just focus on writing. Although if they end up somewhere with free Wi-Fi, it may not work. I wonder if I’ll ever find somewhere that feeds my inspiration and makes me want to write there or if I’ll always stick to writing at home. Perhaps my writing routine is too entrenched now and I’d fail if I changed it or maybe that’s just crazy and I could write anywhere.