All posts in category This week …

Baby I was Born this Way

I may write about Glee too much but last night I watched the ‘Born this Way’ episode and I have to give Glee a big thumbs up for dealing with the issues they did and it definitely inspired me. I have so many days when I dislike things about the way I look, I envy people in magazines or around me for the way they look and I’m always wondering what people think about me, how I look or what I wear. Although I’m sure I could change some this - I could lose some weight or change my hair style / colour but fundamentally this is how I look, this is who I am and I need to be more proud of that.

In the episode, the Glee kids all wore t-shirts displaying the part of them they were conscious of the most but something they were born with and wanted to be proud of (see above). I’m not sure what my shirt would say (future spinster maybe or big thighs but most likely one would be boobs aka larger than average :)) but it is important not to want to change who you are just because you may not fit into the perfect image or perfect person category. The world would be a pretty boring, Stepford wives sort of place if we all did.

So whatever you think about Glee or Lady Gaga, I think we can all appreciate the message they were trying to convey. Baby, we were born this way :)

What would your T-shirt say?

Vix

xx

37 Comments
by Victoria-writes on May 10, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Victoria-writes on May 10, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/05/10/baby-i-was-born-this-way/

Get Happy

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.
Jane Austen

The news that Catherine Zeta Jones was treated with bipolar disorder has generated lots of debate. On one hand, praise for her being open about her mental illness and speaking out, on the other hand confusion as to why someone who has so much could suffer with depression. I think it shows that no matter what you have in life, you can still struggle and just because you have money and fame, doesn’t mean you’re happy all the time.

This got me thinking about happiness in general. Happiness is something we all seem to strive for, we want to make the most of our time here and really feel satisfied and content with our existence. But how do you define happiness? How do you know if you’re happy?

I heard a definition once: Happiness is health and a short memory! I wish I’d invented it, because it is very true.
Audrey Hepburn
 
I know so many people who complain and moan daily. We all live busy, stressful lives – we have to battle with transport difficulties, we have to deal with money worries, the question of whether we are in the right job, we have to search for love ro try to hold on to it and we have to watch the news and see violence, poverty and pollution cast a cloud over our daily activities.
I think it’s so easy to let go of happiness and just fill your mind with all the negative things around us and the world. To forget to count your blessings and be thankful for the good, positive parts of your life. I am so guilty fo this. Sometimes I feel depressed, I feel like every day is the same and I wonder if that contentment, that satisfaction with my life will ever come. But I think that’s okay. We all feel that way sometimes, we just need to programme ourselves to mix it up with some thankful moments as well.
 
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
Joan Rivers
 
This quote made me smile and ties into the debate on CZJ - she had the money to check into a rehab clinic and get the help she needed. Others may have to suffer for much longer. But whilst I do think having money takes away some of the daily struggles, true happiness is so much more.
 
Happiness… it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.
Vincent Van Gogh
 
I really like this quote. I know that when I write I feel happy. I’m passionate about it, I love the thrill of creating and I like having the dream that one day the whole wide may see it. I do want to achieve in life. Be it passing exams, getting into University, getting that first job – all those achievements, do make you feel more content. They are like signposts on the journey of life and even if you do end up taking a wrong turn now and then, as long as the final destination is the same it doesn’t matter. We need to be happy that we ar learning along the way. If I got everything I wanted now, would I be happier? I’m not sure, I like aiming for something, I just wish I had a glimpse that all the hard work would pay off one day. That would make it easier for sure :)

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

This I can definitely get on board with. It is important to feel and give love. Not just feel it from the people around you or give it to them but also to yourself. To be happy, you need love – to be loved and to give love. If you take away all the money in the world but you still have love, you’ll still be richer than someone who has millions but no-one who cares or to care for.
 
The theory behind CZJ illness is that she got too stressed nursing her husband through his battle for cancer. To me this shows that her family place love higher than their money and fame. That’s what will get her through this, not her ability to get the best medical help.
 
 
I think being happy is down to us. I want to think more positively about life and be thankful for what I have, to avoid feeling depressed because I haven’t ticked off my life to-do list yet. I should enjoy the journey more. And most of all, search for and embrace love in all its forms.
 
Happiness depends upon ourselves.
Aristotle
 
Do you struggle with happiness? What do you think the key to happiness is?
 
Vix
 
xx
39 Comments
by Victoria-writes on April 19, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Victoria-writes on April 19, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/04/19/get-happy/

Miss Adventurous

This week I’m thinking about adventure. I do not consider myself an adventurous person and lately it’s frustrating me. I lead a pretty safe life and I wonder if I should stretch myself more, get out of my comfort zone and try a little adventure.

 I have lived in the same small town for my 28 yrs – minus 3 yrs at university, a 2 hour drive away. I’ve worked in the same company for about 5 yrs now and am stuck in a indecisive bubble about whether to move on and if I do, to what? I want to be a writer but I know I am one of many and it may never happen so I need a backup plan but what?

I am reminded of this scene in Beauty and The Beast …

“I want adventure in the great wide somewhere …” sings Belle to rousing violins.

I suppose I feel somewhat stuck in a rut. I’m not sure how to change it though. Sometimes I imagine moving to a new place but then I think about my family and friends and it holds me back from wanting to do that. I think about changing my job but as I’m not sure what I want to do or where or for whom, I keep sticking at it in case I may a mistake out there. I keep working at my second book but I’m conscious I lack time to concentrate on it and the days tick by with it hanging on in a draft state.

This isn’t really a plea for answers, more a general musing whether life should be safe or we should take the  plunge and be more adventurous sometimes. I hope that one day soon I can shake things up a bit. If I wasn’t such a worrier and thinker, I could be more impulsive but I tend to over analyse things and get bogged down in the negative. I can’t do this, I can’t do that.

I need to start saying I can!

Would you consider yourself adventurous? If so, how did you take the plunge? If not, what holds you back?

Vix

xx

42 Comments
by Victoria-writes on March 29, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Victoria-writes on March 29, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/03/29/miss-adventurous/

The Future of Society

This week’s topic is the future of society. This topic came to me whilst reading Ally Condie’s Matched. The story is set in the future where society dictates the life of Cassia – where she lives and works and who she falls in love with but when she is Matched with her best friend, she catches a glimpse of another boy she knows and wonders where her heart really belongs. I really enjoyed this book but what I liked most was the clear picture of the future world and it got me thinking about what the world will really look like one day. We have so much fiction out there – dystopian or utopian but which one will prove to be correct?

My thoughts like I’m sure all of ours goes out to Japan and the natural disasters they are dealing with out there. The sheer loss of life and destruction is heartbreaking. And it does make you think about the future – if our world does continue to be affected by nature in such a way, how will we survive it?

I don’t want this post to become too depressing. I think there will be great achievements in the future – technology is sure to continue to expand into areas we can’t even imagine – although I’m not sure if we will ever have flying cars we saw in Back to the future or air-trains they have in Matched. Electric cars seem to be the next stage there.

But the most intriguing part is exactly what Matched deals with – how we humans interact n the future? People don’t go into each other’s houses, things are kept private and society tells you who to marry and how many children to have, no-one has knowledge of all skills, you are put in a specialist area and you stay there. Even now in so many areas the idea of community fails so often, people in cities in particular keep to their own lives and that makes me worry about the future but then I see acts of great community spirit when things go wrong, people reach out to each other and gives hope that will continue on.

I don’t believe we will ever reach perfection in society - there will always be people better or worse of than others and if we deal with one thing e.g. illness, another will take its place but what I hope is that we keep our basic human kindness and bravery and when the chips our down, we reach out to each other.

Japan has shown us that still happens in our time, let’s hope it still happens years from now. We just recieved our 2011 census forms here in the UK, someone may read about my life 100 or 1,000 years from now and I hope their society doesn’t lose communities, people who will reach out to other’s when in need. surely, that’s really what we want for the future (and world peace of course!)

What do you think society will look like in the future?

Vix

xx

21 Comments
by Victoria-writes on March 15, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Victoria-writes on March 15, 2011

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Self Pity vs. Self Belief

This week’s topic is a fight between self pity and self belief.

Self pity:

I hate self pity but I often sink into it. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell yourself to count your blessings some days, you still feel sorry for yourself. I wish I didn’t sometimes list all the bad points in my life, that I didn’t wish for more , that I would not regret things from the past. I wish I just looked at all the things that I do have and be content with them.

It’s human nature to see our flaws and weaknesses I think but we need to try train ourselves, I need to train myself to look for the positives, to see my good points and to use them to my advantage.

But maybe if I didn’t long for more than maybe I’d never achieve it. Maybe you do need to feel a bit dissatisfied with your lot sometimes because it pushes you to look for way to change things, to improve your life. It’s human nature surely to question things, to search for meanings and whys, to hope for better things, to want to hide under the duvet and let yourself have a good ol’ cry.

Maybe all I need to do is realise that I’m not the only one who might be thinking like this …

Self Belief:

I wish I had more of this one. To have esteem, to think you are worthy, to feel you are capable – it’s so important to see yourself as someone who can change things, who can achieve their goals, who can make their dreams come true and who can be happy. To look into that mirror and be happy with the reflection you see.

It’s not easy though – sometimes I’m crippled by self-doubt, anxious that I’ll never be as good as I what to be or I’ll never achieve the goals I’ve set myself. I look at other people and think why can’t I be like them instead  of being me?!

I wish I could swap the days I feel self pity for the days I feel self belief but I’m starting to see that there will always be both in life, I will always be torn between the two and both have a place. Both can help me make my dreams come true along  a healthy dose of luck and destiny :-)

Do you ever struggle with self pity? How do you make sure you believe in yourself?

Vix x

23 Comments
by Victoria-writes on March 8, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Victoria-writes on March 8, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/03/08/self-pity-vs-self-belief/

Honour the past but Welcome the Future

I wish the title of this post was my own words but it’s actually a line from a poem by EE Cummings. Before you think wow she is a poetry queen, I found this poem through the film Charlie St Cloud and it gave me this week’s theme / topic – moving on or to use the film’s tagline – life is for living.

If you haven’t seen it, this film is about Charlie St Cloud a hunky young sailing enthusiast who loses his younger brother in a tragic accident and finds it impossible to let go and move on with his life. His brush with death left him able to see his brother’s spirit and he plays baseball with him every day at sunset. Enter a girl sailing enthusiast Tess who helps him realise you can let go but still love and that he should be living his life and not clinging to his grief.

I love the message in this film. We’ve all had things in our past that have been hard to move on from – death and grief, heartbreak, losing love or just regretting mistakes – and it’s so easy to keep yourself locked up in that moment, to let the pain overwhelm you and stop you from living life the way you did before.

What you need to remember is that the people you lost wouldn’t want you to let grief stop you from living, they would want to see you be happy to let life and love heal your wounds and for you to move on, keeping them in your hearts.

It’s okay to remember the past, to honour it and treasure it, to keep it as part of you forever but you also need to look to the future, to give yourself peace and to allow yourself to be happy.

The poem they recite in the film is called ‘Dive for Dreams’ - here it is in full:

dive for dreams
or a slogan may topple you
(trees are their roots
and wind is wind)
trust your heart
if the seas catch fire
(and live by love
though the stars walk backward)
honour the past
but welcome the future
(and dance your death
away at the wedding)
never mind a world
with its villains or heroes
(for good likes girls
and tomorrow and the earth)
in spite of everything
which breathes and moves, since Doom
(with white longest hands
neating each crease)
will smooth entirely our minds
-before leaving my room
i turn, and (stooping
through the morning) kiss
this pillow, dear
where our heads lived and were.

I hope we can all remember this message and know that moving on does not mean have to mean letting go and love will follow us wherever life takes us.

Have you ever struggled with moving on? Has pain ever stopped you living your life fully?

Vix x

20 Comments
by Victoria-writes on March 1, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Victoria-writes on March 1, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/03/01/honour-the-past-but-welcome-the-future/

The Gospel According to Glee

This weeks’ theme / topic is courage. Last night’s episode of Glee (Never Been Kissed) took on this very theme.

Source: http://gleefans.tumblr.com/post/1545747851/glee-2-06-never-been-kissed

The episode centered on Kurt, the show’s gay character who has to deal with being the only openly gay guy at his school. A bully from the football team likes to make his life hell and last night Kurt tried to fight back and have the courage to stand up to him.

I think this is a great message whether you love or hate Glee itself. It’s so hard feeling different sometimes in life. You look around you and see other people doing things or acting a certain way and you want to fit in, to do what they do, be who they are. Sometimes you get scared about speaking up on these differences – afraid you admit you like a certain song or TV show, or that you don’t want to go out and get drunk or that you are happy being alone or that you feel lonely.

There are so many things we keep to ourselves, scared of the reaction we might get. Scared of standing up and saying ‘this is me’!!

We should embrace being different. We should be proud to be different. There is no such thing as normal after all. We should have the courage to be ourselves.

A line from the episode from Kurt when he confronts his bully, Dave Karofsky:

“You can’t punch the gay out of me any more than I can punch the ignoramus out of you.”

So this week embrace who you are, have courage in yourself to be the person you want to be, and to anyone who laughs at your choices or who puts you down for being your own person, don’t worry - they are just too scared to have the same courage you have to be who you want to be.

To play us out a mash up from the Glee episode. Dance around, sing along and don’t worry about who is watching!

Do you embrace your uniqueness?

Vix x

16 Comments
by Victoria-writes on February 15, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Victoria-writes on February 15, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/02/15/the-gospel-according-to-glee/

A Little Bit of Imagination

The thought for this week is imagination.

“Disneyland will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination left in the world.”—Walt Disney

When I was younger, I lived in an imaginary world. An only child, I made up friends, characters, places, dressed up and let myself dream. As I’ve got older, I’ve tried not to let go of imagination. As a writer, you need to be able to let your mind take you to new places, to dream up people – what they look like, what they wear, how they speak, and of course, dream up that elusive orignal plot that will allow you to make your dreams of getting published come true. Writers need imagination to be writers – we need to live and breathe that fantasy world. It will one day be our bread and butter after all.

But imagination isn’t the sole domain of writers. I think life is all about imagination. reaching for goals, dreaming of your future, falling in love – it all takes some aspect of imagination because life is not always logical, there isn’t an equation you can follow, life is crazy and unexpected. Life is imagination.

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere – Albert Einstein

How do you use imagination in your life?

Vix x

9 Comments
by Victoria-writes on February 8, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Victoria-writes on February 8, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/02/08/a-little-bit-of-imagination/

Chasing Destiny

This week I’m thinking about destiny.

When I was younger I believed in destiny – that there was a thing called fate that would lead you on the path of life you meant to travel down. That you’re dreams would come true. I suppose I naively thought life would be easy and I’d get everything I wanted.

When you get older and have more experience of life, I think you realise that it isn’t as easy as all that. Life is hard work and if you want things to change, if you want those dreams to come true – you need to work for them. You need to reach for them.

That isn’t to say that I don’t think things happen for a reason. I do think things tend to work out for the best even if at the time you can’t see it. But I think we have much more control over our lives than I first thought. Destiny isn’t a path set out for us that we must walk along -fixed and in one direction but a series of paths that we need to choose for ourselves.

The pot of gold at the rainbow’s end? You’re the one that needs to find it!

My dream is to be a published writer and I  thought that was my destiny. That it would be easybecause I wished for it. But it isn’t. My first book was rejected and that was a wake up call – a tiny part of me thought that it would be snapped up, that I’d be the next J. K Rowling and everyone would love me but the reality has been much different.

Does that mean I should give up? Is destiny telling me I have no hope in hell?

I sure hope not!

I think it means I need to work that bit harder, really try to accomplish my dream and then if I make it, it will be all that much sweeter. So I resolve not to give up and hope one day my book will sit on someone’s shelf next to Harry Potter :-)

I was listening to the radio the other day and this song came on by Yasmin. I think it sums up my thoughts on destiny today:

And I feel the fire burning, deep within my soul,
Struggling for protection,
When I reach it, let me know!
And I feel I need some guidance,
But my heart won’t let it show,
And although the road is frightening,
I’m gonna make it on my own!

And if I fail at least I know
I did it on,
I did it on my own!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsNBQJEofQM&feature=related

The choices we make, not the chances we take, determine our destiny.

Vix x

5 Comments
by Victoria-writes on February 1, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Victoria-writes on February 1, 2011

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The grass is yellow on the other side

This week I’ve been thinking about relationships and how so many people wish for things they don’t have or what others have. Perhaps thinking the grass is greener on the other side but is it really?

To help me share my thoughts on the subject, I turn to Jane Austen who wrote my fave book Pride and Predjudice and had a few things to say on the matter of love.

Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then (Mr Bennet in P & P by Jane Austen).

This post came out of a conversation with a work colleague who was talking about their partner and saying that how they were not what they would look for in an ideal partner but she had realised she couldn’t change him and was putting up with the relationship in some ways. She said that she didn’t know anyone completely happy in their relationship.

This makes me sad. As a single woman I am determined to wait for someone special to share my life with. I am pretty independent and not scared of waiting right now. Settling scares me more – the thought that you would look across at your partner and think about all the things you wish they were instead of all the things they are.

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. (Charlotte Lucas in P & P by Jane Austen).

I don’t think Jane Austen believed this quote uttered by Charlotte in P & P before her marriage to the bumbling Mr Collins otherwise she would have married and taking the gamble herself. I don’t believe it either. I think marriage is hard work and you need love, trust, honesty and friendship. Of course compromise is needed. You’re never going to find someone perfect, no-one is but I do think they need to tick your requirements in a partner or you’ll always wish for something more.

To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love.
Jane Austen

Above all, I’d like to meet someone to share things with, someone to support and take care fo me, to have fun with, to make me laugh and hold me when I cry, someone I can trust and be honest with, someone to make me a better person through their love and someone to have a family with.

It may sound a straight forward list but talking to people I know it actually seems to be harder and harder to find. And my previous experiences have fallen way short.

You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased (Mr Darcy, P & P by Jane Austen).

(Photo from BBC)

And there is the subject of wanting what you can’t have. My coupled friends who wish they were single and me who wishes I wasn’t. I think the best advice for both camps is not to wish for things you don’t have, not to wish to be on the other side but to make sure that you are happy in your side.

Happiness does not depend on that perfect man but on yourself. If you find yourself wishing for something, ask yourself if you are truly happy and what would make you happy. The answer isn’t as always easy as you might think!

I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me (Eliza Bennet in P & P , Jane Austen).

I’d love to hear your thoughts,

With love

Vixter xx

 Ps: I admit it, I want Mr Darcy! Is that so bad? :-)

8 Comments
by Victoria-writes on January 25, 2011  •  Permalink
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Posted by Victoria-writes on January 25, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/01/25/the-grass-is-yellow-on-the-other-side/

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