They may make for great characters in books but not so much in real life. Yet sometimes we keep them in our life. We moan we can’t change things, we feel powerless, we feel stuck and have no idea what to do. I think sometimes you have to walk away from them. You have to take the higher road. You can’t change them but you can change the situation. You can remove yourself. You can realise you deserve better.

You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like i’m made of glass
Like i’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

(Demi Lovato)

It’s them, not you.

Don’t let them bring you down.

Let yourself shine.

Victoria

xoxo

I really enjoyed this film – it’s romantic and funny and magical and if you’re a writer, you will definitely with Gil and his fantasies. It got me wondering if I had the opportunity to go back in time and experience a different era – which would I choose? The answer came pretty quickly. I fell in love with Jane Austen in my early teens and the love affair remains strong to this day. I’d love to get sucked back to her time and be able to live in the world she did.

Reasons why I would love to visit the Regency era of Jane Austen:

1. Courtship appears far more romantic – men are gentlemanly, dating is chaperoned and you fall in love at grand balls and across the table at dinner.

2. You get to wear long dresses and fancy gowns for special occasions made just for you.

3. No cars. Just horse-drawn carriages.

4. There’s no TV or internet so much more time for reading and writing. I’d have to give sewing a miss as I’m useless.

5. You actually have to converse with people and spend time with them. No calling on the phone or texting allowed.

Of course, if I did go back, I’d have to be a wealthy lady. I quite fancy a grand country pile somewhere. And I’d obviously bump into Mr Darcy, because he was real, and he’d sweep me off my feet.

Okay my imagination has carried me away as usual but I would definitely recommend Midnight in Paris if you want some pure escapism.

Which era would you go back to you if you could?

Victoria

xoxo

 Why?

Maybe because the I’m worried the agent I met will forget about me, maybe because I have lots of ideas for my next story and am torn between the two, or maybe I just enjoy beating myself up. I like to do things quickly. I’m not patient. It’s an annoying trait for someone keen to get into publishing, probably the slowest moving industry in the world. And I want to be a  “good” writer. I feel if I can’t revise my story properly and quickly then I must be failing at it.

Sometimes I think I’m so tough on myself because I want to succeed so much. I’ve shouted about my dream now to everyone and I feel loads of pressure to make it happen. I found this quote the other day and it struck a cord:

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That’s why dreamers are lonely.
Erma Bombeck

But I know that I can’t let this funk get me down. I need to take the pressure off. I want to enjoy writing and be excited to finish this story not annoyed by it. I don’t want to think about other people judging me and I want to stop judging myself. I need to stop setting myself impossible deadlines and just let the words flow when I feel inspired. Because if it’s meant to be, it will be. And even if this one doesn’t work out, I will keep trying with the next.

Ellie Golding – Your Song

Lifehouse – You and Me

Debra Arlyn – Worth the wait

Christina Perri – A Thousand years

Paramore – The only execption

Avril Lavigne – Keep holding on

Taylor Swift – Ours

What are your favourite love songs?

Victoria

xoxo

A Walk to Remember is about a bad boy who falls for a good girl who changes his outlook on love and life. Cute, romantic and sad – make sure you have the tissues ready. It might be cheesy but I fall for it every time.

You’ve got Mail stars Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks who fall in love online but don’t hit it off in real life. You root for them right up until the end in this cosy rom com. I think I’ve watched it a hundred times.

Dirty Dancing is one of my favourite films – it’s very corny but very romantic. Nobody puts Baby in the corner! And no girl can watch this without wanting to do the end dance.

Pride and Prejudice - technically this was a BBC series but I couldn’t include my favourite adaptation of my favourite book. I’m in love with Mr Darcy, I can’t lie and his love story with Elizabeth Bennet will always melt my heart. And you get to look at the gorgeous Colin Firth in this version.

Titanic is an epic love story. It bowled me over when I first saw it. It’s not a regular watch for me but it’s a timeless story that stays with you long after. It had to be included on the list!

The Notebook is another soaring romance with a heartbreaking end. I cannot watch this without crying so I cry to avoid it but there’s no doubting that this is a love story that leaves you breathless.

The Twilight series - love it or hate it this love story about a human girl who falls for a vampire sucked (get it?!) me in completely when I read it and the films do a great job of capturing their romance.

Moulin Rouge is a romantic musical feast. It’s beautiful and tragic and the love song medley is genius.

 Beauty and the Beast may be an animated film but it’s pure romance. Remember the ballroom scene? Exactly.

An Affair to Remember is an old-fashioned romance that twists and turns through heartbreak but ultimately makes you all warm and fuzzy. It also kick started the trend of meeting on top of the Empire State building (see Sleepless in Seattle).

What’s your favourite romantic films?

Victoria

xoxo

Victoria

xoxox

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This year for Valentines day we would like to share with our readers on what makes it special for us.

Victoria

xoxox

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It’s funny, isn’t it? The way that love sort of just… Shows up. You may or may not be looking. You’re probably not expecting it. You just happen upon. “Oh! Is that you there?!” It sort of looks at you shyly and smiles, and you say, “Long time, no see!” You try to mask your utter shock, but it knows. It knows you didn’t know that it was on the way. Somehow, it’s okay with that. The thing about love is… It doesn’t need an invitation. It shows up when it’s good and ready, and whether you were expecting it or not, you kinda have to let it in.

 Some time in 2010 – I’m really not sure which month – I really got into the whole twitter thing. I was tweeting, and following, and mentioning, and DMing. One night, a Bahamian artist (Did I mention that I’m from The Bahamas?) said she’d be ustreaming. I thought, “Oh, cool. I needed something to do while procrastinating. I’ll tune into this ustream, and see if it’s interesting.” Well, I ended up watching a chatting for bit. The artist mentioned that my first name is very much like her middle name. I thought, “Ok, cool, I guess”. Well, from then, we starting following each other on Twitter (versus the one-sided twit-lationship where I was following her, and not being followed back). We chatted a bit back and forth, as we did with lots of other people.

 Fast-forward to November 2010. I tweeted about dessert. Specifically, I tweeted about an absolutely amazing dessert at my godfather’s and dad’s restaurant. It’s a guava bread pudding drizzled with brandy sauce, served with bailey’s ice cream. Close your eyes. Repeat those words. Picture it on a plate. Taste it. Yesss. Greatness. That tweet met a reply from the same Bahamian artist, saying that she was oh-so-very-interested in trying the dessert. One or two messages were sent and received, and BAM. We’d arranged to meet at the restaurant for dessert. To cut this bit of the story short, we met up a few times for good times.

 One fateful night, I went over to her place for a game night. It was one of those game nights where no one ever played any games, but many drinks were had. There was lots of random talking, and then things got very specific. By the end of the night, she and I were questioning our “friendship” as we wondered if there could be something more…

 Fast-forward, yet again, about month. We’re totally in a relationship. Before either of us realized it, we were in deep. In like. In love. In a complete state of drunken happiness. We, at first, were a bit concerned about how quickly things changed, developed, and grew. There is often fear of jumping into something too fast, not knowing what the future holds. I mean, really, we were just two random people who interacted on twitter. Who later met in person, over some amazing dessert. And then became friends. Ended up living a life that was totally unexpected and completely un-predicted time. Neither one of us expected it.

 This Valentine’s Day is just 10 days short of our first anniversary. Nothing has died. The fire of love, happiness, and overall excitement still burns brightly, and keeps us warm. Have we had arguments? Yes. Disagreements? YES. Times when we really didn’t want to speak to each other? Yes, indeed. It’s just that love has taken up residence within us. It’s like the magnet was planted in her, and the steel was planted in me. Things happen. Emotions run high. Words are released into the world, never to be retrieved by the speaker. Fragile feelings are sometimes hurt. That just doesn’t change the magnetism that is love. It will always attract the two people it has planted it’s two part in to one another. It serves to bring them together – in times of happiness, struggle, sadness, and even anger. Two can do better what one can do alone.

 The sweetness and warmth of the guava bread pudding has never subsided. We still taste it every time we see one another. The effect of the brandy has not worn off. We still feel the warmth, every time we touch. The sweetness of the baileys ice cream has not lost its touch. It still is there to cool the passion that raw emotion can bring to a situation. The lessons of twitter remain in our minds. Even where words are few – limited to 140 characters or not – thoughts and feelings are abundant. We may not have the time or the will to say all that we feel, but we are fitted with magnet and steel. The connection is there. It has taken up residence in us. It’s not going anywhere.

 Have you ever heard that song, “We Found Love” by Rihanna? You didn’t really need to hear the song. Some of the (very few lyrics) are, “We found love in a hopeless place.” Believe me. We both saw our surroundings and situations as hopeless where love is concerned, but look at us now. Full of hope for our future together, and bringing hope to the people around us who are still looking/waiting for what we’ve been fortunate enough to find. Valentine’s Day comes around every year, so with every one that you see, know that it brings you more hope.

Victoria

xoxox

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Love could happen to anyone, at anytime, and any place. It happens to the most notoriously known jail mates, it happens to the broken hearted, it happens when you are feeling low, and when you barely expect it. It could sneak to you like a thief in the night.

 

I have been in and out of love several times, so love is not so foreign to me. It’s a good thing to fall in love, no feeling is comparable to it. Love has no limits to what it could lead you to do or boumdaries for that matter for places it can take you.

 

This time I found love in a weird place and thus never really opened up about it. But tis the season of love and we have been together for two years and counting so I am going to open up here for the first time. Don’t judge me yet, just remember that love always gets it’s way.

 

It happened in November 2009 when I came out of a troubled relationship for luck of better words. It was bad. We fought and argued about everything all day long and finally after two years decided I had had enough. That was after I found out there was another man involved. I packed my bags and travelled across country with a broken heart never  to be mended again so I thought. I hated relationships and lost all my trust in it. I vowed never again to fall in love. I might have been wrong.

 

Love is so strong that saying no to it is close to impossible. I moved in with my cousin who helped me get over my heart break awfully quickly. A few weeks later we got back in touch. We talked over the phone and tried to mend things back but my heart had been so hardened that I could barely stand looking at another female species. We therefore decided that it was good while it lasted and let by gones be by gones. For several weeks I stuck to my words and avoided any contact whatsoever with women. Wekk deep inside I knew something more powerful was yet to take control over me. The need to feel loved started creeping in me and before I knew it I was craving it. So I talked to a bunch of women but the moment they mentioned a relationship I was out the door just like the trust I had lost. At home, Facebook was my antidote. I chatted the night away.

 

Towards the end of December there was a special girl that caught my eye. I tried to fight the feelings that I was beginning to catch for her. At one point I had a period of paranoia where I thought I had been chatting with another man so I asked her for her phone number. That’s when it all started.

Normally I wouldn’t be on the phone for hours. But what was even weirder was that we hadn’t seen each other eye for eye. Months went by and a connection was starting to build up. I told her about my past relationship and that I was not looking forward to a serious one but she only blatantly agreed. A few months later it became so obvious that there was no turning back. We had fallen head over heels in love with each other.

 

She was too good to be true, I kept thinking. I was getting anxious and wanting to meet her. She was all the more anxious to see me. I was amazed at how long I had to wait to meet her and still hold on. This had to be love. But she was worth it. She had all the qualities that attracted me to her even more; understanding, funny, christian, family-oriented, educated, and hardworking. I would just get an adrenaline rush everytime we talked. Her voice so musical, her laugh gave me goosebumps. I started bragging about her to my friends and showed photos of her to everyone that I knew just to get an opinion. Of course I never told the truth aboout how I met this diva.

 

March came and finally we were talking about meeting up. Right around March 18th she arrived at the airport and just seeing her for the first time after four months swept me off my feet. Her hair glided over her shoulders, her lips so kissable, her eyes were crescent shaped, and had a body of a model. She was a beauty, I became weak at the legs and when she smiled I felt chills run down my spine. I was love struck again and it felt amazing. We locked each other up in our arms just like old lovers. During her stay we were inseparable just like siamese twins joined by the hip. We celebrated love but it was short lived when she returned to her home. I wished she could have stayed forever, it was painful to watch her leave. But those few days were memorable. I had fallen back in love and found my future wife. We spoke on the phone all the more just to fill up the void. The visitations became more and more frequent.

 

Whenever we were together it was so much fun and travelled a whole lot. Eventually we decided it was best if we moved in together. While we did, things moved on pretty fast and May of last year we became proud parents of our wonderful son. He has been the center of our focus and changed both of our lives immensely. We have continued to grow blissfully in the shadow of the umbrella of love. In fact on October the 3rd we got engaged. The proposal got her by surprise and it has yet been the peak of our interesting journey of love.

 

She has been the best companion and intend to stay together for the rest of our lives.

 

In fact I can hear the wedding bells.

 

 

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Don’t forget to leave Patrick your feedback and then hop on over to his blog!

Love through a lens

I flicked through the photos on my laptop.

I smiled at the long golden stretch of sand in front of the picture perfect white house. I had even managed to capture how the trees had swayed in the gentle ocean breeze.

I looked out of the window of my bedroom. Back at home, my view was now thick sheets of rain pelting against the glass. I wished I was back in that sunshine. I sighed then. I definitely had the holiday blues.

I returned to the laptop, hoping that a reminder of how happy I’d been just a few weeks ago there would lift my mood. I moved past the photos of Lizzie and me at the bar in town. We’d drunk far too many cocktails our first night there. And I breezed past the ones of us dancing really badly at the salsa bar down the road. I passed by more of the beach. It really was a stunning beach. I was both eager and nervous to get to the later photos. The ones I really cared about looking at.

If only to remind myself it hadn’t all been a dream.

Then I stopped. My brain had registered something so I hit the back button on the slide show. I had quickly passed a photo that I’d taken just before sunset. I looked at it more closely this time. It was of endless sky and water. The light had changed to dusk and the silvery moon giving everything a warm glow. In the corner of the picture was a figure I hadn’t noticed when I had taken the shot. I leaned closer to the screen, berating myself for not booking that eye test.

My heart skipped a little when I recognised who it was. I had no idea I had caught him in that photo. He was obviously as unaware as I had been then. He sat on the sand at the edge of the house, his knees up to his chest, looking out at the scene in front of us. I checked the date on my camera. I’d taken it the day before we’d met.

I enlarged the photo on the screen so he was more in focus. It was weird seeing him as the stranger he was in that moment. I wondered whether if I’d have noticed him when I’d taken that picture I would have cropped him out of the frame. Or would I have been struck by his floppy dark hair and his pensive stance? Or would I have just moved my eyes passed him onto the view I had been trying to capture?

It didn’t really matter because I hadn’t glimpsed him that night. When I saw him next, it had changed everything.

But I liked the fact he was accidentally in that photo. It was a reminder that he existed before we met and he would continue to exist now. I liked knowing he was in the world even if it was so far away from my own.

I pushed the laptop away and stared up at the ceiling. The rain danced on the roof above me but I shut it out. I thought of where he was instead. I closed my eyes and let myself float back to that white house by the sea.

“I’m going for a walk,” I shouted at Lizzie who was still in the bathroom. I couldn’t get her to wake up and be ready before noon at home let alone on holiday so I was used to exploring on my own in the mornings. I left the house and paused on the deck. The view still amazed me after a week of looking out at it. I walked down the steps that led directly onto the beach.

“I’m always jealous of anyone who stays here,” a voice called out. I turned and saw a boy a few feet away. He gestured to our beach house.

“It’s pretty cool,” I replied. My cheeks flamed slightly at my lame response. Who said cool anymore anyway? I turned to walk away in shame when he stepped forward and stopped me.

“I’m Dan.”

“Amy,” I responded. I looked at him more closely and realised how cute he was.

He grinned. “Mind if I walk with you?” He fell into step with me and we walked away from the house together.

The morning was bright but pleasantly cool and the beach was still quiet. We strolled side-by-side and I found it hard not to keep peeking out of the corner of my eye at him. He wasn’t my usual type – he was lankier and his hair was too long but his dark eyes and the dimple in his left cheek that appeared when he smiled drew me in. He wore far too much black for someone who lived in a holiday destination but I liked his Beatles T-shirt and scuffed sneakers.

“What’s it like living here?” I asked, desperate to break the silence.

Dan shrugged. “Too many tourists.” He winked. “I’m a city person living by the seaside.”

“Better than being a seaside person stuck in the city.”

“The grass is always greener.” He stopped walking suddenly and indicated we should sit down. I flopped down onto the soft sand and followed his gaze out to the sea. I didn’t think I’d ever be tired of living with that on my doorstep. “Too many people coming and going.” He gave me a funny look and I felt another blush creeping in.

“What’s that?” I asked, looking at the brown notebook sticking out of his jean back pocket.

“My super-obnoxious journal,” Dan replied, tapping it. “It’s full of teen angst,” he added, his eyes twinkling.

“Do you like writing?”

“I have too many thoughts sometimes; it feels good to write them down. Why do you like taking photos?”

I was flattered that he’d noticed me. I’d leaned back on my hands, wondering how to form my feelings into words. “I used to be pretty shy so my dad brought me a camera. He said it would let me see and experience the world even if I was afraid. I’ve loved it ever since. I find it exciting when I capture something unexpected.” I looked at Dan and saw he was watching me. I felt embarrassed by my speech but he looked interested by it. His gaze was both intense and electric and it sent a shiver down my spine.

“I hope one day I’m as passionate about something.”

I wished he could see just how passionate he was.

Over the next few days, we spent as much time together as possible. Lizzie pretended to be annoyed when he joined us everywhere but I could tell she was happy for me. I don’t think anyone had ever made me smile as much as he did. He was fun and full of life. He loved music, art and movies and writing. His journal was actually filled with poems and although no expert, I thought they showed he had a beautiful soul. It was beautiful to me anyway.

When he had held my hand, I’d felt giddy. When he’d chased me down the beach, I’d felt free. And when he’d kissed me for the first time, I’d felt alive.

“Leaving sucks,” I said as my last day arrived. He’d walked over to watch the sunrise from the deck with me.

“You’re not really leaving me though,” Dan replied. He was so confident that he’d see me again. He said miles didn’t matter. What we had was special and things would just work out. I was nervous though. I knew I’d miss him more than I cared to admit.

A beautiful dusky orange and purple sky stretched out in front of us. I leaned my head against his shoulder as we watched the sun move past the edge of the ocean to turn everything blue.

“You don’t want to take a photo of this?” Dan asked, gesturing to the stunning sight.

I looked up and met his eyes. “No, I just want to enjoy it with you.”

He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. Every nerve in my body tingled. “It really is perfect,” he whispered.

I opened my eyes and my white ceiling stared back at me, the sunrise having faded along with the memory. I sat up slowly. I would never forget that holiday. I’d always rolled my eyes when friends at school had come back from the sunshine with tales of holiday romances. I just thought it was yet another love cliché. But I couldn’t deny it. I’d fallen head over heels on my holiday.

I went back to my computer and continued the slide show. I found the photos of us that I had meant to take. The ones I’d been both eager and nervous to look at.

I opened up one of the two of us on the screen. I sat in front of him and his arms were wrapped around me. His head rested on my shoulder as he leant in to snap the picture. My smile lit up my face. I changed the colour to black and white and printed it out.

My phone beeped beside me.

I just booked a ticket to see you. I can’t wait.

I hadn’t dared believe that all he said to me was real. I hadn’t dared to hope that I really would see him again. I had expected these photos to be all I would have of our time together. But it looked like he wanted to keep his promises. Maybe the end of our holiday really wasn’t our goodbye.

I pinned the photo of us on the board above my desk, tucking it in between the collage of pictures, postcards and quotes I’d stuck up there over the years. I stepped back so I could see it better.

I had always been pretty sceptical about relationships but Dan had changed everything. I reached up and peeled off everything from the board save for the photo of us two.

Whatever happened in the future, I’d never forget the time we spent together. It felt like my heart was exactly where it was supposed to be – wrapped up with his.

My first love.

****

I hope you enjoyed it

Victoria

xoxo