All posts tagged Reflections/ thoughts

This Day is Ours

Today has been a stressful one so far.

First off, I didn’t sleep well and forgot I needed to wash my hair and got up too late so it’s really greasy. I then realised I had a cold and felt crappy. Then I missed my train because the ticket man was so slow then the tube was overcrowded so I was waiting for ages to get through the station. Not a good start!

To calm me down on my journey though I listened to Emma’s Imagination on my iPod. The song This Day is a beautiful one that transported me to scenes like these:

The lyrics to This Day:

Slipping through summer air

Blows over the green to me

Leave behind spider lines

Underneath the tree where I was sleeping

This day is mine

And I want to share it, want to share it with you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsS9IwR6n-U

I love the sentiment of this song – of enjoying a beautiful day, feeling empowered by it, feeling that it’s your day but also the feeling that you want to share that beauty with someone.

It’s almost like blogging – we are sharing our day’s with each other. Although there are not always beautiful (like mine today ), it is beautiful to share them!

Vix x

4 Comments

by Victoria-writes on February 4, 2011 • Permalink

Posted in Life, Musings

Tagged life, music, musings, Reflections/ thoughts

Posted by Victoria-writes on February 4, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/02/04/this-day-is-ours/

Behind the Mask

Beauty & The Beast, a documentary shown last night on C4, showed two people struggling with their looks trying to understand each other’s worlds. Photo below:

Liam was 60 yr old man who was badly burnt as a child and has struggled with scars all his life. As a result, he was against cosmetic surgery.

Yasmin was a young girl obsessed with make up and looking good, all to detract from her JJ size breasts.

When the programme started, I thought we would be on Liam’s side but watching Yasmin struggle with the attention her breasts got from everyone, you really felt for her as well. Liam even accepted that a breast reduction may be a good thing for her.

It really opens your eyes to how people struggle if they don’t conform to society’s opinion of beauty and how so many struggle to fit the mould.

It made me feel bad for those days that I stand in front of the mirror and think I’m having an “ugly” day!

Yasmin bravely took off her make up at the end of the show and I realised how used you can get to seeing yourself made up. usually I wouldn’t go out without some on but maybe it’s time to think twice and show people the person inside behind that mask.

Would you venture out without your make-up on?

Vix x

16 Comments

by Victoria-writes on February 3, 2011 • Permalink

Posted in Beauty, Life, Musings, Pop culture

Tagged beauty, documentaries, make-up, musings, Reflections/ thoughts, TV

Posted by Victoria-writes on February 3, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/02/03/behind-the-mask/

Walk a Mile in Someone’s Shoes

Today I am wearing new shoes (black leather lace up boots) and they REALLY hurt. Walking through London trying to smile through the pain, I was thinking about the saying “walk a mile in someone’s shoes” – that you can’t really know what someone’s life is like unless you experience it for yourself.

I got a snapshot of two very different viewpoints yesterday from women in UK with very different lives:

1. A female columnist in free weekly mag. Stylist, who was talking about her refusal to take on her husbands surname, fearing she would lose her identity along with her madian name.

2. A 18 year old girl getting married on Channel 4 documentary My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding who was describing her soon-to-be life of staying in the home cleaning, cooking, looking after the children and checking with her husband if she wants to go out anywhere.

It got me thinking about how extreme both views are. How some women feminism doesn’t even enter their heads, and for others they worry about how being with a man might change their feminist identity.

I can’t picture either of these two women’s lives as my own. I couldn’t imagine walking in their shoes. But I can understand the Stylist’s writers’ views more because I have been brought up in a completely different culture to the young Traveller girl where I see men and women as equals.

On a positive note, I liked how both women were able to live with their views, with their own cultures. Because surely feminism is about choice? Being able to live the way you want – have a career, vote or stay at home and have a family, both options are open to us now.

Right now, I’ll stick to my own shoes (even if they hurt) but it’s interesting to see how other people walk!

Vix x

10 Comments

by Victoria-writes on February 2, 2011 • Permalink

Posted in Fashion, Life, Musings

Tagged fashion, feminism, musings, opinion, Reflections/ thoughts, shoes, women

Posted by Victoria-writes on February 2, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/02/02/walk-a-mile-in-someones-shoes/

Chasing Destiny

This week I’m thinking about destiny.

When I was younger I believed in destiny – that there was a thing called fate that would lead you on the path of life you meant to travel down. That you’re dreams would come true. I suppose I naively thought life would be easy and I’d get everything I wanted.

When you get older and have more experience of life, I think you realise that it isn’t as easy as all that. Life is hard work and if you want things to change, if you want those dreams to come true – you need to work for them. You need to reach for them.

That isn’t to say that I don’t think things happen for a reason. I do think things tend to work out for the best even if at the time you can’t see it. But I think we have much more control over our lives than I first thought. Destiny isn’t a path set out for us that we must walk along -fixed and in one direction but a series of paths that we need to choose for ourselves.

The pot of gold at the rainbow’s end? You’re the one that needs to find it!

My dream is to be a published writer and I thought that was my destiny. That it would be easybecause I wished for it. But it isn’t. My first book was rejected and that was a wake up call – a tiny part of me thought that it would be snapped up, that I’d be the next J. K Rowling and everyone would love me but the reality has been much different.

Does that mean I should give up? Is destiny telling me I have no hope in hell?

I sure hope not!

I think it means I need to work that bit harder, really try to accomplish my dream and then if I make it, it will be all that much sweeter. So I resolve not to give up and hope one day my book will sit on someone’s shelf next to Harry Potter

I was listening to the radio the other day and this song came on by Yasmin. I think it sums up my thoughts on destiny today:

And I feel the fire burning, deep within my soul,
Struggling for protection,
When I reach it, let me know!
And I feel I need some guidance,
But my heart won’t let it show,
And although the road is frightening,
I’m gonna make it on my own!

And if I fail at least I know
I did it on,
I did it on my own!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsNBQJEofQM&feature=related

The choices we make, not the chances we take, determine our destiny.

Vix x

5 Comments

by Victoria-writes on February 1, 2011 • Permalink

Posted in Musings, Personal, This week ...

Tagged destiny, inspiration, life, musings, Reflections/ thoughts

Posted by Victoria-writes on February 1, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/02/01/chasing-destiny/

Where did you have it last?

This morning my mum couldn’t find her reading glasses despite reading until late last night in bed. She mentioned that she knocked over her bedside lamp and I suggested the glasses could have fallen off with it but she said she had looked and pulled her bed out and was going crazy wondering where they could be!

On the train to work, she calls and leaves a voicemail – the glasses were indeed tangled up with the lamp that had fallen over. I was right!

It got me thinking about when you lose something, it’s so hard to think clearly and often you need someone else around to think calmly on your behalf and crack the mystery.

Where did you have it last?

Such an annoying question when you’re the one who can’t find something but a logical one and one that usually proves to be the key to finding the object.

Have you ever lost something which someone else has found for you?

Vix x

6 Comments

by Victoria-writes on January 31, 2011 • Permalink

Posted in Life, Musings, Personal

Tagged humour, life, musings, Reflections/ thoughts

Posted by Victoria-writes on January 31, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/01/31/where-did-you-have-it-last/

Proud to be Gen Y

This week I went to a seminar on Generation Y. The girl speaking said that 18 – 30 yrs olds are classed as Gen Y and we have some interesting characteristics.

Part of our pop culture is Pokemen - remember them?!! My fave was Pikachu above

A big part of being Gen Y is embracing technology – we are the generation who’s grown up with computers & mobile phones and now iPhones, iPods and HD TV. We love social networking – almost all of us are on one of them – Facebook, Twitter & of course, blogging!!!

But what was most interesting hearing about Gen Y was our problem with the workplace. We have apparently grown up being told by our parents that we are amazing, we can do anything and be whoever we want to be, and we are rarely criticised. This means we can’t take tough bosses and want to be promoted every 5 mins. What made me laugh most of all was when she said that we tend to have a tendency to cry. A lot.

Saved by the Bell – remember that?!!

Have you ever cried at work? I sure have but mostly wait until I get home!! Gen Y apparently have a tendency to become emotive when our weakness are pointed out. Is this a fair criticism? I can see people at work who do cry over the little things but most of the time I only see tears when something that steps outside of constructive criticism happens.

I don’t think us Gen Y-ers should apologise for wanting to be treated fairly at work, to be treated as a grown up and not be shouted at like a child if a mistake has been made. It looks like bosses think differently though, they see us as the ‘trophy generation’ who want rewards for no work.

Harry Potter (or arguably Lord of The Rings) – is our generation’s Star Wars.

I’m actually proud to be Gen Y. I have dreams and ambitions and I think I’m good enough to achieve them. I also want a fair boss who praises me when I’ve done a good job and gives constructive guidance when I make a mistake. I want to blog and use Facebook, listen to my iPod on the way to work and watch HD movies at home (it makes Robert Pattinson is easier to drool over) and reminisce about brick sized mobile phones.

How about you – are you proud to be Gen Y?

Vix x

2 Comments

by Victoria-writes on January 27, 2011 • Permalink

Posted in Musings, Work

Tagged Gen Y, musings, pop culture, Reflections/ thoughts, work

Posted by Victoria-writes on January 27, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/01/27/proud-to-be-gen-y/

The grass is yellow on the other side

This week I’ve been thinking about relationships and how so many people wish for things they don’t have or what others have. Perhaps thinking the grass is greener on the other side but is it really?

To help me share my thoughts on the subject, I turn to Jane Austen who wrote my fave book Pride and Predjudice and had a few things to say on the matter of love.

Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then (Mr Bennet in P & P by Jane Austen).

This post came out of a conversation with a work colleague who was talking about their partner and saying that how they were not what they would look for in an ideal partner but she had realised she couldn’t change him and was putting up with the relationship in some ways. She said that she didn’t know anyone completely happy in their relationship.

This makes me sad. As a single woman I am determined to wait for someone special to share my life with. I am pretty independent and not scared of waiting right now. Settling scares me more – the thought that you would look across at your partner and think about all the things you wish they were instead of all the things they are.

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. (Charlotte Lucas in P & P by Jane Austen).

I don’t think Jane Austen believed this quote uttered by Charlotte in P & P before her marriage to the bumbling Mr Collins otherwise she would have married and taking the gamble herself. I don’t believe it either. I think marriage is hard work and you need love, trust, honesty and friendship. Of course compromise is needed. You’re never going to find someone perfect, no-one is but I do think they need to tick your requirements in a partner or you’ll always wish for something more.

To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love.
Jane Austen

Above all, I’d like to meet someone to share things with, someone to support and take care fo me, to have fun with, to make me laugh and hold me when I cry, someone I can trust and be honest with, someone to make me a better person through their love and someone to have a family with.

It may sound a straight forward list but talking to people I know it actually seems to be harder and harder to find. And my previous experiences have fallen way short.

You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased (Mr Darcy, P & P by Jane Austen).

(Photo from BBC)

And there is the subject of wanting what you can’t have. My coupled friends who wish they were single and me who wishes I wasn’t. I think the best advice for both camps is not to wish for things you don’t have, not to wish to be on the other side but to make sure that you are happy in your side.

Happiness does not depend on that perfect man but on yourself. If you find yourself wishing for something, ask yourself if you are truly happy and what would make you happy. The answer isn’t as always easy as you might think!

I am only resolved to act in that manner, which will, in my own opinion, constitute my happiness, without reference to you, or to any person so wholly unconnected with me (Eliza Bennet in P & P , Jane Austen).

I’d love to hear your thoughts,

With love

Vixter xx

Ps: I admit it, I want Mr Darcy! Is that so bad?

8 Comments

by Victoria-writes on January 25, 2011 • Permalink

Posted in Musings, Personal, This week ...

Tagged books, Jane Austen, love, Mr Darcy, musings, Personal, Pride and Prejudice, Reflections/ thoughts, relationships

Posted by Victoria-writes on January 25, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/01/25/the-grass-is-yellow-on-the-other-side/

A Hotel in the Haysack

I didn’t blog yesterday as planned so two are arriving today! Basically I spent most of the day trying to book a weekend in Paris for my b’day in March. sigh.

I’ve never stayed in Paris before, just done a day trip so I’m looking forward to really seeing the city properly and eating some lovely French food! Bread, cheese, cakes, croissants mmmm It’s so tough when you don’t know somewhere to book a holiday. I’ve read reviews from newspapers, read Trip Advisor till death and compared countless prices on Expedia, Last Minute etc. It’s quite mind boggling – a hotel will have a 5 star review next to 1 star review – who the hell is right?!!

When I went to New York I choose the Waldorf Astoria – well known and central and Hilton’s are generally of a good standard but I was disappointed, I didn’t feel it was worth the impressed looks I got from people when I told them wherre I was stayng. The locaiton was spot on but the room was basic and breakfast overpriced.

So What to choose for Paris? I’m leaning towards a chain hotel in the centre so I can be sure of a good location and the basics will be good. I’d like a boutique Parisian place really but I’m going round in circle trying to find one that fits my budget and reviews well.

I just wish there was less choice and it was easier. It’s such a risk on holiday finding a good place to stay and I admire people who can find hidden gems! But even with the stress of booking it all, I’m really excited about seeing the city and will def post about it in March. And I better source some chic outfits to wear while I’m there too.

In the meantime, any tips for Paris or hotel faves give me a shout! All advice very welcome

Vixter xx

The soundtrack to my life

Happy Friday everyone!

I watched American Idol last night and it got me thinking about songs that have touched my life somehow and when that happens even if I hear them now, I still think back to that moment and remember how they first made me feel.

So here’s my list of songs that stand out to me today as signficant to my life. My personal soundtrack if you like ….

1. Britney Spears – Hit me Baby One More Time

Glee’s Britney episode for instance had me harking back to my school days when Britney ruled the airwaves and my feet were tapping away instantly. Yes it’s cheesy but God ‘Hit me baby one moe time’ is catchy and it brought a big smile to my face!

2. Alanis Morrisette – You Oughta Know

Jagged Little Pill was one of the first albums I brought as a teenager and even then when I had no experience of relationships, I caught her feeling, her anger, her bitterness, her angst. It made me think, it made me feel her pain and it made me want to sing along at the top of my lungs. I can relate more to the feeling behind the song now, who doens’ want to rant at their ex? a classic!

3. Spice Girls – Via Forever

I was a huugggeee Spice fan back in my school days. I loved their energy, their catchy songs and their attitude. Girl Power! Ahem anyway, this song I still think holds up today as a beautiful ballad that makes you think about days in the sun, holiday romances and bittersweet love.

A close second would be 2 Become 1, which reminds me of Xmas.

4. Natalie Imruglia – Torn

This song was constantly on the radio when it came out, it totally lodged in my brian. I have always loved the album it came off and I think this song is bright and breezy with just the right dusting of pain.

5. Ellie Goulding – Your Song

Elton’s classic has always been a favourite of mine. It’s so simple and beautiful. When Moulin Rouge came out, they took the song and amplified it into an epic treat. Ellie’s version has reminded me what a great song it is and I love her haunting take on it.

Now I just need someone to sing it to me!

6. Take That – Back for Good

I was a big TT fan, Robbie Williams was one of my earliest crushes. This has always been my favourite song of theirs, so simple and romantic.

7. DJ Sammy – Heaven

This was out at Uni and I loved it even though I’m not a big dance fan. Now I listen to the candlelight version. I just think it’s a dreamy song and one that will always remind me of standing on there, hands in the air, singing my drunken head off!

8. Weather Girls – It’s Raining Men

For some reason this has become the song me and my closet friends always request if we are ever in front of a DJ. It’s a tradition and we even danced to it at two of their weddings. Just a classic girl tune to sing your heart out to and will always make me think of them!

9. Taylor Swift – The Best Day

A more recent song but as soon as I heard it, I was reminded of my own mum who I’m really close to. It really moved me and makes me smile. A beautiful tribute to mums everywhere.

10. Westlife – You Raise me Up

Okay this is corny but the chorus gives me goose bumps. It’s just really uplifting and I don’t care, I love it!

So there are 10 songs that have touched my life in various ways. There are so many more but they really stick out .

Lookign at the list, I’ve just realised how cheesy I must be! Ah well, embrace the cheese I say!

What’s the soundtrack to your lives?

Vixter xx

2 Comments

by Victoria-writes on January 21, 2011 • Permalink

Posted in Music, Musings, My fave things, Personal

Tagged American Idol, Glee, music, my favourite things, Personal, Reflections/ thoughts

Posted by Victoria-writes on January 21, 2011

http://victoria-writes.com/2011/01/21/the-soundtrack-to-my-life/

The Intrigue of Immortality

As you can tell from reading my blog, I love all things supernatural and have an at times unhealthy love of vampire related things (meaning books, films, not fake fangs or something!) and when you deal with vamps you deal with immortality.

Extract from Emily Dickenson’s Because I Could Not Stop For Death:

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality

(from Penguin’s Poems for Life)

Part of the seductive allure of vampires is their eternal life because everyone is so uncertain of death, some even fear it but immortality allows you to live endlessly, to reinvent your life how you want, to gain immeasurable skills and intellect. And of course if you’re in a paranormal romance, get to spend eternity with your dark and mysterious eternal love.

Thinking about immortality in reality is different. Is it really that seductive? The first consequence is saying goodbye to your loved ones – you will outlive everyone you know and have to roam from place to place every few years to keep your secret. That makes feeling lonely sometimes seem really insignificant.

If you do have someone to share that eternal life, it becomes easier to imagine. You could roam together, never getting old. To me, though all the allure fades when you think about not having children together, hiding your true existence from the rest of the world, relying on each other for everything - imagine how many arguments you could have in eternity!

The intrigue though remains despite all the down sides. Perhaps because we know it is unattainable and not much in our lives is anymore -we have science, medicine, we all live longer than ever yet that tantalising notion of eternal life dangles out of reach. If it was attainable, we might all reconsider.

Given the choice, I don’t think I could choose immortality. Could you?

Immortality – a fate worse than death.
Edgar A. Shoaff