Reason to Breathe – Rebecca Donovan

Reason to Breathe

In the affluent town of Weslyn, Connecticut, where most people worry about what to be seen in and who to be seen with, Emma Thomas would rather not be seen at all. She’s more concerned with feigning perfection while pulling down her sleeves to conceal the bruises – not wanting anyone to know how far from perfect her life truly is. Without expecting it, she finds love. It challenges her to recognize her own worth – but at the risk of revealing the terrible secret she’s desperate to hide. 

Reason to Breathe is an electrifying page turner from start to finish, a unique tale of life-changing love, unspeakable cruelty, and one girl’s fragile grasp of hope (Goodreads summary)

I was excited to read this book – it was successful self published before being published in the UK by Penguin and is often linked with Tammara Webber’s Easy, which I loved. It’s a contemporary YA story of a teenage girl who doesn’t live but survives because she is both emotionally and physically abused by her aunt. Desperate to keep this a secret, she puts all her efforts into excelling at school and soccer, seeing college as her way out of her hellish home life. Her best friend Sara is her only solace until new boy Evan arrives at school and pushes his way into her life.

This book is a page turner – I was eager to find out what was going to happen, the characters are well drawn and the content is emotive. The subject matter is obviously tough and some readers will find it difficult to read at times but this didn’t bother me, I like a gritty story. But what I did find lessened my enjoyment was some of the decisions the characters make. The reason why Emma keeps the abuse a secret is difficult to swallow and makes it hard to fully connect with her. I was also confused that she has a brilliant best friend and a boy who loves her who both know she’s being abused but yet they don’t tell anyone. I just couldn’t fully accept that.

The abuse scenes are raw and violent but because it’s told from Emma’s point of view they are sometimes a little sudden and confusing. She doesn’t really see it coming or what she’s being hurt with so a couple of times I had to re-read the scene to understand what had happened. I felt sometimes the story lost tension because of this. I think the author wrote the central romance very well – there is a sweet love story between Emma and Evan and you are rooting for them throughout. However, the middle of the book flags a little and a kind of love triangle is introduced. I couldn’t invest in this as much as I would have liked to, I didn’t feel it was needed.

This is a really difficult book to review because of the ending. Just when Emma finally makes the decision you wanted her to all through the book, she changes her mind and there is a sudden, shocking ending. A cliffhanger to rival a soap opera. This means the story isn’t satisfying. This book discusses important issues and hopefully will encourage teens to speak out if they are going through anything similar to Emma. There is an important lesson inside this story. It just didn’t flow for me enough to love it. I would like to read the sequels to find out what happens next, it’s hard to properly review this book as it’s such a fragment and ends on such a low note. I just hope the series will end the way I want to to.

I went onto the author’s website and she has page on there where she discusses some of the parts of the story that I found hard to accept including the ending and discusses why she wrote it the way she did. I obviously had similar feelings as others on this book and it’s interesting that she chose to defend why the characters make the decisions that they do. If you’ve read the book, check out the page here.

How do you feel about endings – should they satisfy or shock? Should an author have to defend their ending?

Victoria

xoxo

What if love were a disease?

I recently finished the first two books in a YA dystopian trilogy by Lauren Oliver. In the books, society has found a cure for love, which they see as a disease that turns people crazy and creates disorder and violence. People are given brain operations that stop them contracting the disease. The main character Lena can’t wait until she’s old enough to have the cure until she falls in love and realises it’s worth fighting, even dying for.

Firstly, these books were a great read and I highly recommend them. I can’t wait for the final book. What I loved most was the premise of the books – who hasn’t in a moment of heartbreak wished they’d never fallen in love in the first place? In this society though, you don’t get to choose, love is taken from you and like most things, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Here, you can’t fall in love and marry someone you want to, you are matched by society and you are taught how to be good parents but with no capacity for love, can you actually be so? I found the whole concept fascinating and complex, just what I like my YA books to be.

In Lena’s world, they found order with the cure but they basically created zombies who feel nothing and therefore do nothing. But removing the ability love is a form of control. It’s actually not that hard to believe in this future world – even today societies restrict and control things like religion and education and in some countries you aren’t free to be with you love. That’s what makes a great dystopian read – you can actually imagine how this world came to be. And that is a scary thought.

So what if love were a disease? Would you want to be cured?

Victoria

xoxo

The end is nigh

A lot of books I read are part of series. YA especially is full of them. When I find a good one, I love a books series as you can really invest in the characters and have your own ideas on how things will pan out. I’m currently reading a few series and some are coming close to the end. I approach final books nervously – some you can tell who they will end and the pay off is good, others through a curve ball or don’t wrap things up well enough for you to feel fully satisfied. Regardless, I’m always impressed when an author creates a series as it’s hard work and if you get hooked and have to read everyone, it’s job well done for the writer.

These series are almost at an end for me :( :

  • The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare
  • The Fallen series by Lauren Kate
  • The Sookie Stackhouse by Charlaine Harris
  • The Wings series by Aprilynne Pike
  • Paranormalcy series by Kiersten White

As a reader you invest a lot in a series and you want to get the ending you want. There’s a lot of pressure on writers but I’d love to have a series of books one day, it seems like lots of fun!

Probably the three most popular series ever:

How do you feel about book series? 

Victoria

xoxo

Getting back to YA

I’ve read a few adult books recently (Before I go to sleep, A discovery of witches, Miracle on Regent street) and much as I love reading, I felt young adult withdrawal kick in and I was desperate to pick up a YA book and leap in. The more I read (and write YA), the more it sucks me in and the more I’m addicted to it. I love the pacing, the way they catch me from the first page, the coming-of-age stories and what they explore like first love, social issues or supernatural powers – and wish I had some of my own :)

Here are my recent YA reads:

Fracture by Megan Miranda

This YA contemporary thriller is about a girl who falls through the ice crossing the lake. When she wakes up in hospital, she finds out she died for eleven minutes. Now she’s drawn to people who are dying but could she be causing the deaths herself? She meets a mysterious older boy who seems to have the same power, she’s drawn to him but is he as good for her as he claims to be? Add in a cute boy next door and a small town setting in depths of winter, Fracture is a creepy pacey page turner. The book promised to send chills down my spine and it delivered.

The Last Echo – Kim Derting

This is the third book in The Body Finder series about a teenage girl called Violet who is drawn to dead bodies and can sense the imprint of death on the people who killed them. In this book, she’s started to work for a team of teens with extraordinary abilities helping the FBI solve murders but when she gets too close to a case, a killer turns his attentions on her. I’ve a big fan of this series, all the books have been real page tuners and Violet’s powers are original and intriguing. There’s also a cute boy-next-door in this series too but in this book, Violet is drawn to one of her team and wonders if their connection could be romantic. Despite the love interest, this book is focused on the solving of murders and being hunted by a killer. It will keep you on the edge of your seat!

Next on my to-read list is Switched by Amanda Hocking. She was one of the first self published authors to sell a million copies and now has a publishing deal so I’m interested to check out the book behind the hype!

Do you ever get YA withdrawal?

Victoria

xoxo

The Hunger Games vs. Twilight

I went to see The Hunger Games yesterday. I won’t post another review as I’m a long way behind the rest (although I will say I loved it). Instead, in honour of the film and another favourite of mine Twilight, I thought I’d pitch the YA series’ against each other.

Warning: contains spoilers so don’t read if you don’t know how they end!

Let the battle begin:

The world

Twilight is set in present day Forks – a small town in Washington, which gets a lot of rain. Dark, gloomy and green. This world is inhabited by both humans and supernatural creatures namely vampires and werewolves (no witches or faeries as far as we know). And the supernatural’s live in secret mostly; until a girl called Bella comes along and guesses the truth. Some of the supers are good; others are evil and will drink your blood.

The Hunger Games is set in the future in a country that used to be America and is now called Panem. It’s a pretty bleak place made up of 12 districts ruled over by The Capitol. People in the outer districts are poor and hungry whereas people in The Capitol live in luxury and have really crazy hair. Every year the country watches The Hunger Games – a reality TV show where kids compete to their death.

Verdict: I’d rather live in Twilight’s world – there’s food and the reality TV shows may be depressing but they’re not brutal. Plus I’d have Edward. Just sayin’.

Twilight – 1, HG – 0.

The hero

Bella Swan is a teenage girl who falls for a vampire. She’s’ pretty average looking but pale and uncoordinated. She doesn’t really have a quest – most of her existence is there to be in love with Edward. Then she decides she wants to be immortal so she can love him forever. She finally becomes a vampire, which she is suited to very well.

Katniss Everdeen is a teenage girl who has lived her life fighting for survival. She leads her family, hunting for food and selling it so they can live. She is fiercely protective of her younger sister, volunteering to tale her place in The Hunger Games. Which’s she kicks ass in while staying someone we can root for. Plus she wins.

Verdict: Katniss is scary in the best possible way. I’d probably be the first one to die in the games so I’m pretty impressed by how she handles it.

HG – 1, Twilight – 0.

 The love triangle

Bella Swan loves Edward but then he leaves her (it’s for her own good) so she starts hanging out with Jacob, who turns into a werewolf. He loves her a lot but she’s not sure. Then Edward comes back and she runs back into his arms. Jacob kisses her and she decides she loves them both but Edward is her soul mate. Then they have a baby who is Jacob’s soul mate. So everyone is happy.

Katniss Everdeen isn’t sure who she loves. There’s Gale her friend and hunting partner who’s really good looking. And there’s Peeta, her fellow competitor in the HG who says he’s had a crush on her since they were kids. They pretend to be I love for the cameras but I feels quite real. Then Gale comes up with an idea that leads to her sister being killed so she chooses Peeta.

Verdict: For me, I knew who they would both choose in the end but I was more unsure what would happen in The HG so I’ll go with that love triangle. Slightly more believable.

HG- 1, Twilight – 0.

 The villains

In Twilight, The Volturi are pretty scary vampires who rule the community and you don’t want to meet them in a dark alley. Like, ever.

In HG, the villain is pinpointed as the President but you could argue the true villain is control. Snow is killed by Katniss in the end and the country takes back some of their freedom.

Verdict: Twilight has a defined group of villains that are creepy and who live on after the books. They’re invincible, which beats Snow who is destroyed.  

Twilight – 1, HG – 0.

Final score:

It’s a tie in my battle between Twilight and The Hunger Games.

Who would win for you?

 Victoria

xoxo

 

Tearjerker

I cry easily especially at TV shows or films, usually during death scenes. Anything involving Nicholas Sparks gets me every time. But I don’t tend to read books that lead to tears. It’s been a while since I was heartbroken or moved enough by an ending in a book – I remember Black Beauty, Little Women and Anne of Green Gables sending me there when I was younger. And the ending of The Help was emotional for me but tears still didn’t spill.

That all changed yesterday when I finished reading John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars. I actually had to put the book down as it was making me too emotional and the tears spilled several times during the last few pages. It’s a young adult story about a girl called Hazel who has terminal cancer and meets a boy at her support group. She falls in love for the first time with one foot in the grave. To tell you more of the story would ruin you discovering it for yourself. But I will tell you that it’s funny, sad, witty and tragic all at once. It makes you think about the Big things – love, mortality, family, the afterlife, illness and death. And it doesn’t provide easy answers about any of it.

The story is moving, the writing sharp and beautiful and the characters settle themselves in your heart. It’s a really special book and one that I both can’t wait and dread to read again. It will be a while before I can as it affected me so strongly. I might have closed the book when I finished but it’s wrapped itself around my brain and won’t leave me yet. It’s left me heartbroken in the best possible way.

Another side effect of reading the book is I have writer’s envy. John Green has a bag load of talent. Damn it :)

What was the last book that made you cry?

Victoria

xoxo

Sunday Songs

I recently discovered Angus & Julia Stone – a folky brother and sister duo.

This is chocolate and cigarettes:

I love the message in this song by Kari Kimmel.

This is Don’t give up:

Eva Cassidy has a beautiful voice. I heard this on Pretty Little Liars – Who knows where the time goes:

I recently discovered this band after they teamed up with Taylor Swift and I love their folky alt country sound.

This is Poison & Wine:


What new music have you discovered this week?

Victoria

xoxo

Pretty Little Liars & Somebody Else’s Life (Friday Finds)

 My latest TV obsession is Pretty Little Liars. It’s an American teen drama about a group of girls who are stalked by the mysterious ’A’ after the death of their Queen Bee. ‘A’ somehow knows all their secrets and they have a lot of secrets! This show is weirdly compelling with some real scares thrown in alongside the typical teen angst and the central mystery of who the stalker is will keep you hooked. It’s so bad, it’s good.

I recently finished ’Somebody else’s life’ by debut British YA author Katie Dale. It’s about a teenage girl called Rosie whose Mum Trudie tragically dies from Huntington’s disease. Rosie is terrified that she will inherit the genetic illness until her Mum’s best friend reveals she’s not Trudie’s real daughter after all. Rosie sets out to discover who her real parents are but her quest doesn’t go to plan.

I really enjoyed this book, so much so I finished it in a day as it’s a real page turner and I was desperate to find out how it ends. It’s an exciting mix of family drama, mystery, romance and heartbreak. It also poses a moral question about whether you would want to know if you had a genetic disease or not.

What did you discover this week?

Victoria

xoxo

Back in time

I recently watched Midnight in Paris – a 2011 Woody Allen film about a struggling American writer on holiday in Paris with his fiancée. The lead character Gil wishes in lived in Paris in the 1920′s when everything was far more magical and inspiring for writers and one night his fantasy comes true.

I really enjoyed this film – it’s romantic and funny and magical and if you’re a writer, you will definitely with Gil and his fantasies. It got me wondering if I had the opportunity to go back in time and experience a different era – which would I choose? The answer came pretty quickly. I fell in love with Jane Austen in my early teens and the love affair remains strong to this day. I’d love to get sucked back to her time and be able to live in the world she did.

Reasons why I would love to visit the Regency era of Jane Austen:

1. Courtship appears far more romantic – men are gentlemanly, dating is chaperoned and you fall in love at grand balls and across the table at dinner.

2. You get to wear long dresses and fancy gowns for special occasions made just for you.

3. No cars. Just horse-drawn carriages.

4. There’s no TV or internet so much more time for reading and writing. I’d have to give sewing a miss as I’m useless.

5. You actually have to converse with people and spend time with them. No calling on the phone or texting allowed.

Of course, if I did go back, I’d have to be a wealthy lady. I quite fancy a grand country pile somewhere. And I’d obviously bump into Mr Darcy, because he was real, and he’d sweep me off my feet.

Okay my imagination has carried me away as usual but I would definitely recommend Midnight in Paris if you want some pure escapism.

Which era would you go back to you if you could?

Victoria

xoxo

A journal, new music, book tip and a poem (Friday Finds)

I brought this gorgeous journal from Amazon. Yes, it’s titled “Believe in Yourself” – pretty perfect, right? I do love stationery and this journal is the perfect place to write down thoughts, poems and quotes. Even though I won’t use it as a diary (hey, I have a blog for that), I’m excited to write something down in it. And I’m sure I’ll work out what soon :) It also has inspirational words throughout, which is very helpful right now! 

I am loving Lana Del Ray’s album Born to Die. After all the hype there’s been a bit of a backlash against Lana but her album is sultry, catchy and unique plus her voice is a real treat. Ignore the haters and prepare to enjoy. It’s on repeat on my iPod right now.

I just finished reading Supernaturally by Kiersten White. This book 2 in her Paranormalcy series so make sure you read the first book before hitting this one. Ms White has created a great voice with leading lady Evie and the book is full of humour and action and lots of supernatural creatures. Normally book 2 slumps a little but this one kept the spark and has set things up nicely for the third and final installment. I can’t wait to read it!

I found a snippet of this on a blog this week and I looked up the whole poem. I just love the words and how inspiring this is right now. In fact, it pretty much sums up my whole week – inspirational.

Nobody but you – Charles Bukowski

nobody can save you but
yourself.
you will be put again and again
into nearly impossible
situations.
they will attempt again and again
through subterfuge, guise and
force
to make you submit, quit and /or die quietly
inside.

nobody can save you but
yourself
and it will be easy enough to fail
so very easily
but don’t, don’t, don’t.
just watch them.
listen to them.
do you want to be like that?
a faceless, mindless, heartless
being?
do you want to experience
death before death?

nobody can save you but
yourself
and you’re worth saving.
it’s a war not easily won
but if anything is worth winning then
this is it.

think about it.
think about saving your self.
your spiritual self.
your gut self.
your singing magical self and
your beautiful self.
save it.
don’t join the dead-in-spirit.

maintain your self
with humor and grace
and finally
if necessary
wager your self as you struggle,
damn the odds, damn
the price.

only you can save your
self.

do it! do it!

then you’ll know exactly what
I am talking about.

What did you discover this week?

Victoria

xoxo

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