Musings, Personal

Friends vs Husbands

Sex and The City – a favourite show of  mine and I’m going to use as my example for the blog post today.

Friends vs husbands.

When you’re younger you have lots of friends and you see them regularly – at school or a club, then as you grow up your friendship group tends to shrink as you develop a set of close friends to hang out with – and shop, gossip and have some wine with! I developed such a set – three friends as a group and another friend who I saw separately, all I had gone to school with and kept in touch with through Uni and the return home.

But when you grow older things change. You grow up and want to do different things. And then the husbands arrive.

Out of those four friends – 2 are married with babies, 1 lives with someone and the other I’ve drifted from. I’m still close to the coupled friends but we see each other much less – maybe once a month. Their priority is, of course, now their husbands, partners and child.

So is there a point when friendship groups shift, you become less of such a group because they have found their life partners??

Take Sex and The City…..

Carrie and the girls were all about their friendship, that is until they met their men and then they drifted. The last episode’s closing scenes showed the four girls together but the last scene was Carrie talking to Big – their love story became more important that the foundation of the show – the friendship of 4 single ladies in NYC. The film tried to create false conflict in the relationships to bring them back together because it was obvious they were less as friends if they were happy with their men.

There is no blame here. It is  natural shift in life as  you move from being single to having a family and priorities change. But it sad to lose that connection you have with your friends and quite hard when you’re single to watch them drift away.

I think 2011 is the year to change all this for me – try and reconnect with my friends, start a new hobby and meet new people and maybe check out the dating websites (eeek!) because I want my happily ever after as well.

Sex and the City – a man comes into the group and the dynamic changes.

Look forward to hearing your thoughts,

Vix x


2 thoughts on “Friends vs Husbands”

  1. I think it really depends on the people you are surrounded with. When Christopher and I first started dating all of our friends were single. Over the years, ours friends started matching up, but we all just hung out as big groups so there were lots of single people still hanging out. By the time we graduated college, the friends we hung out with the most were our other couple friends (most all of them were married, we were engaged). And when we moved to a new place after graduating college, we were a married couple already… so we made new friends with other young married couples. We have a handful of single friends, but for the most part, most of our friends are other young married couples with no kiddos (just like us). We don’t hang out every night like we did in college, but we make a point to get our group of friends together at least once a week. So yeah, relationships evolve and change as you grow, but it doesn’t mean you can’t still hang out with your friends! 🙂

    1. You’re right – friendship evolves and I think you seek out people at the same stage as you. It would be easier if I was in a couple like my friends for sure! But I’m sure my time will come 🙂

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