The girl in the mirror

I have days when I look in the mirror and I really dislike what I see. Everything looks ugly on me, I feel fat and hideous and nothing goes right – my hair, make up or chosing an outfit. Or I see a photo of me and it’s completely unflattering and I cry out “Do I really look like this?!”

I felt this way over the weekend. I had got my mum to take some photos of me to post on here but they were all shocking and I started to moan to her that everything was wrong about me. She always tells me I’m pretty but on days like this, I just feel she’s being my mum and to her I may be pretty but to the world I am ug-gly.

It’s quite hard to break free of the funk once it arrives. There’s no rationality to it either. I probably looked exactly as I look on every other day but I felt different and that changed my perception of the girl in the mirror.

Saturday night I practically stormed to bed, completely positive no-one will ever love me because  I look so bad. I took my mum out for Mothering Sunday the next day and we went shopping. I reworked my hair (I’m trying to grow out a short cut, which is never easy) and put on a new t-shirt and did feel a bit better about myself. We also started the day with a cooked breakfast at a cafe in the shopping centre and that also perked me up!

I decided I needed to continue my upward spiral so went to the make up department to try and find a new lipstick. My product post of the day before had obviously inspired me! A nice girl at Mac put on a  coral colour and was really sweet about how it looked. She was also wearing a lovely dark green eyeliner that I decided I also needed and told me it would bring out my green eyes, I needed the flattery so I fell for it! But they had run out of the lipstick so I just left with the eyeliner. Walking past Bobbi Brown they had a similar shade but that had also sold out. Groan.

I took a peak in the car mirror on the way home, wearing the new lipstick I couldn’t buy and the eye liner that does make my eyes look greener and I felt more cheerful. I put on the new pair of earings I got – some sparkly hoops and my confidence levels went up.

I know that I didn’t look different essentially between Saturday and Sunday but doing small things to cheer me up made me feel better about myself in general. I hope I don’t sounds superficial here but I do think happiness about looks is linked with happiness about your self. I’m feeling down at the moment because of the frustration I want things to change but am not sure how to change them and that is affecting my confidence and how I am perceiving myself in that mirror.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.
Audrey Hepburn

What’s the moral of the story then? I want to try to reach for happiness and remember not to confuse feeling down with feeling ugly. To do things that will make me smile whether big life changes or finally getting hold of the coral lipstick. That girl in the mirror needs to learn to love herself inside and outside. She needs to believe in herself for better or worse, richer or poorer, for as long as she shall live.

Do you ever dislike what you see in the mirror? How do you make sure you love yourself?

Vix

xx

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47 thoughts on “The girl in the mirror

  1. I’m really not a photogenic person, apparently I’m better in the flesh ( honestly I have been told that so many times ). So I guess I don’t really look that closely at who’s in the mirror.
    When I’m feeling bad about myself that’s when I pamper myself.. foot soak and scrub, long soak in a bath with yummy bubbles, I do my eyebrows and my nails, face masks etc..
    As for loving/liking myself? Well that one took a hell of a long time to achieve, but if I don’t like me how can I expect anyone else to like me? So I took some well needed time out a few years ago and got to know me properly.

    • Pampering is a good idea, it def helps to spend some time on you. I get my nails professionally done as my one treat to myself and I do feel better afterwards. I think a face mask this weekend is a good idea for me 🙂 I’m glad it’s not an ingrained thing thing to everyone but me then, you’re so right that if I don’t love myself noone else will. I’m working on it!

  2. I definitely think everyone goes through this. I know I do. One thing that always helps me (you’re probably going to think this is weird) is getting my eyebrows done. It always seems to make me look better, seriously! Stay positive girl. You’re beautiful on the inside and out! 🙂 🙂

    • Good to hear you feel that way too sometimes and as you always look lovely that makes me feel a lot better 🙂 I can undertsand that, having your eyebrows done really lifts your face and shows off the eyes. I’m a total wimp about the process tho! Aw thank you so much xx

  3. I have those days as well. Every once in awhile nothing in my closet looks good and feels comfortable. It always confuses me, too, because the same outfit will have looked good the week before.

  4. It’s so easy to rip myself apart. Sometimes I just get in a funk about it (like you say). I like your strategy of doing something nice for youself–proves that you are, indeed, worth it! 😀

  5. hey,
    it continues to baffle me how we seem to be on the same page a lot of the time. last week i popped into the city cemtre with a lot of shopping to do. when i got home i realized that i had spent a lot of money and everything i got was either to mantain or “enhance” me appearance. when i was journalling that evening and feeling guilty about my shopping but then i thought about all my journal enteries when i was teenager which consisted almost entirely of self loathing and i decided i was not about to spend my 20 feeling guilty because i like myself. obviously this will be within reason though. the next day i had a makeover and photoshoot with my sistwem who had won it. i enjoyed the day so much because i have a new attitude towards myself. and am glad that i have a portrait of myself of myself while i am young. there are still things i don’t like about myself,but i am realistic about it,and put into perspective. my self esteem was pretty low when i had to start using a wheelchair but i read a lot of stuff that said you should take care of your skin, get regular hair cuts, even pedicures because when you take an interest in your appearance, you will begin to love yourself more and feel happier. my friends say i am a completely different person now and i feel so much happier,even though nothing has physically changing drastically. i think everyone should do the same thing, ill or not. you appearance may not change hugely but the way you see yourself will, and that has a great knock on effect in your life. there will still be photos you despise and days when you feel rubbish but you can put them into perspective. i had a quick flick through bobbi browns ‘beauty rules’ book and it seemed to be written around similiar ideas. sorry for the marathon comment! xx

    • Haha we do seem to have the same ideas 🙂 I loved the long comment and hearing that you have gone through similar things to me. What’s amazing to me and puts things into perspective is how you’ve handled being in a wheelchair so positively and found happiness in yourself. You should be proud hun! I need to take a leaf out of your book I think. I once had a makeover and photoshoot as a present and was loads of fun, it’s nice to get spoiled sometimes 🙂

  6. Oh girl, I have been there. I am so glad you found a few things that made you feel better about yourself. And I love that you quoted Audrey Hepburn. She certainly had some wonderful things to say about beauty. Thanks for sharing this with us, girl. I know it’s not easy.

  7. I can so relate with what you wrote. It absolutely DOES help when you’re in that funk to go out and get a few ‘new’ things… whether it’s makeup, accessories or new threads. I’m not much of a shopper but getting new things helps for some reason! I think most pictures of myself are horrid, too. Women are so different from men in this regard, I know – and sometimes that can be a curse. What an awesome post!

    • Thank you, I’m so pleased you can relate! Men have it so easy compared to us lol. I felt for you earlier when I heard about your power cut – how did you do your hair?! 🙂

  8. Vix, just smile! A smile can light up a person’s face and make them beautiful. Also, it will help improve your day.

    Try it …you might feel silly…but just walk around and smile really funny at someone and they will laugh, and in return you will laugh…and it changes your whole perspective!

    I feel frumpy all the time, a good case of the “blahs” and this works for me!
    Sandi
    http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com

  9. i know babygirl. i look terrible in photos, and it always makes me think my night out was rubish becuase i looked awful. but then i think that i had a good time, my friends and family love me, and my light shines a bit stronger. 🙂

  10. There are days when I despise my looks. I hate everything about myself and wonder how I even go out in public looking the way I do. It happens to the best of us, and it always passes. As long as you love yourself, your beauty will shine through to everyone else 🙂

  11. My dear lovely girl…one, I saw your picture and you are beautiful and two we all feel this way from time to time. You’re right it is linked to what is going on in our lives. Actually you and I seem to be in sync on this blah feeling. I’ve been trying to figure out my next move, been a bit stalwart and allergies are annoying me. So I feel and look like a hot mess. But I try to work past it and not let it get to me, because in the end this to shall pass. And I’ll throw in a three for good measure, you are very much cared for by all of us. So don’t you talk bad about our friend 😀

  12. Oh Vix, I do experience those days where I loathe at the sight of myself in the mirror. Frizzy hair, dark under eye circles and….well sometimes I think I look like a balloon too. Perhaps its the hormones..(yep, blame PMS) 🙂 Cheer up, you know you’re just giving yourself a hard time. Oh sometimes wearing high heels helps. I think it makes me look sexy lol!

  13. Trust Audrey Hepburn to say that. Haha. Already gorgeous much?

    I very rarely have those days. They are super rare. I’m always more concerned about elements of my personality putting people (read guys) off me. I’m OK with how I look. Even though I got braces put on last year, the worst they do is give me a mouth ache.

    To feel good about myself I work out. I impress myself with my magnificent triceps. Rock solid 😛

    • I know she was super stylish boo! That’s cool you’re so confident with your looks and work hard to feel and look good, i need to do more exercise. Yuck why do we worry so much about what guys think about us?!!

  14. Wow, this post was SO good! I too have days like that… It helps to remind myself that I’m in a beauty funk just because I’m comparing myself to a cookie cutter image. I think my thighs are fat… But then I ask myself, “Who says my thighs have to be a certain size to be beautiful? Who am I comparing my body to? What is this perfect image that I need to reach?” The same goes for my hair. So it’s a bit frizzy once in awhile. Who says that it has to look a certain way in order for me to be beautiful? I’m me. I’m not Angelina Jolie or Anne Hathaway or any of those movie stars. But I’m me and I am beautiful. So are YOU!

    • You’re do right, it’s easy to feel bad looking at the girls in magazines but remember they’re usually air brushed and they prob survive on lettuce – no cupcakes for them 🙂 Too right, we are 😉

  15. I’ve certainly been there… heck I’m pretty much there now. I’ve battled with self image for a long time; naysaying others when they compliment or what not. The camera can be your worst enemy on some days and your best friend on others just as it is with the mirror. Pampering does help often for me, even if it’s just done by yours truly. And even though I know how horrible it is for you, tanning usually helps me out a bit. It helps me relax and the tan perks me up. I just try not to think of the after effects down the road when I’m older! 😉

    You are beautiful inside and out my dear. That is evident through your writing & your comments to and support of others.

    • Ah thanks sweetie, can you be my personal cheerleader please?! I know what you mean about tanning,I feel happier today with the sun out. Use sunscreen though 🙂

  16. J’adore your post. I have these kinds of days more often than not. Over here there is such pressure to be beautiful – it’s on the covers of all our magazines, depicted on our television shows and movie screens. Thin is always in and flawless skin is a necessity. I don’t fit into this superficial box that my society has imprinted upon us that we all must strive to squeeze into. And though sometimes it gets me down, I always try to remember that hopefully in the grand scheme of things, it’s being beautiful on the inside that should count the most. (Also, I’m pretty sure you are one of my spirit animals. 🙂 )

    • You’re right about the pressure to look a certain way but we should embrace our differences it’s what makes us who we are and we’re pretty cool I think! What spirit animal though? 🙂

  17. It doesn’t sound superficial at all! If we feel down or our self-confidence isn’t high at the moment, everything feels bad – looks included… I feel like that sometimes (and then I’m picking on my self worth as well on top of my looks), mostly like you say when things aren’t going my way in other areas or I don’t feel i know where I’m going. Love the idea of getting into an upward spiral instead of a downward one!
    And may I just say that you are so pretty!! Seriously, not just your mum who thinks so 🙂

    • I wish you could bottle up self confidence and we could spray it on like perfume everyday! Aw Elin so sweet thank you, I will return that to you hun I totally envy your blond hair 🙂

      • Thanks Vicky, you’re sweet 🙂 But that just proves it – we always want what we don’t have… I always wanted to have dark, exotic hair like yours (preferably curly, since of course I do not have curly hair)!:P

      • So true the grass is always greener! Curly hair is v hard to look after, mine is just frizzy now so thank god for hair straighteners 😉

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