Coupled up? Help a single girl out!

After my post on Tuesday “Single Ladies”, I’ve stumbled on several blogs – both old and new bemoaning the fact that nowadays it seems so difficult to meet a new partner. If you don’t have anyone available in your social circle or at work, which let’s face it could get very awkward, then the only option left seems to be online dating.

I tried E-Harmony for about a month last year and hated it. The site just sends people they think are suitable for you, you don’t get to browse profiles on there and their matching skills are well below par. There was literally no-one I even wanted to chat to plus you had to go through some long  process before you even got to an email stage with someone. Not for me!

I am currently deciding whether to give Match.com a go. I’ve heard both success stories and horror stories from people who have tried the site, leaving me wondering if it’s actually down to luck. I’m not a lucky person, especially in love, so I’m dubious about going through endless profiles and bad dates. On the other hand, I just can’t see how else to meet someone. Everyone I know claims not to know any suitable guys , my close friends are settled down and in no mood to go to bars, and my work has no prospects. How else to you meet someone?

Help a single girl out coupled up readers. Tell me how you met your other half and maybe that will give me some inspiration for my love journey. Otherwise, I may end up a spinster with only cats for company 🙂 Or searching for sperm donors 🙂

How did you meet your loved one?

Vix

xx

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53 thoughts on “Coupled up? Help a single girl out!

  1. I met my partner through Match.com actually, and also have another really good friend I met through Match, we got on well as friends but nothing more. The main problem with Match is you need a thick skin to protect yourself from all the guys ( and even worse girls ) that use the place as a knocking shop.

  2. Okay, going into big sister lecture mode now. I firmly believe that you can meet someone (no you will meet someone) when you learn to be happy alone. I’m not saying it is easy. I don’t know where you meet them. But work on just being the best Vicky you can be and I know that someone great will be attracted to that. I’ve seen it happen so often. True, I do know a few successful couples who met on-line, but I’ve also heard more horror stories. Okay, now I’ll butt out.

    • Thanks Lisa. I’m pretty good at being on my own, it’s been a while lol, it’d just be nice to have someone to do things with, have fun etc and obv one day I’d like a family. It just gets a bit disheartening when everyone around you is coupled up 🙂

  3. I met my partner through a site calles Parship. I don’t know if it’s any good but it worked for me. You take a number of tests and are then offered profiles based on a compatability score. We were both trying to get off the site when we met so the luck of the gods had something to do with it. You hear many horror stories about internet dating but done with care and a sense of humour, it is worth exploring. I wsh you every happiness however you happen to met your other half

  4. I agree with everything Lisa said, so it looks like two of us are in “big sister” mode. Being happy with yourself (aka loving yourself) and content to live each day as it comes is extremely attractive to others. They may not know what the draw is, but they like it. So, work on that first. 🙂

    Once you’re there, try participating in things you enjoy (volunteer stuff, clubs, meetup groups, etc.). You’ll find people with similar interests and maybe “Mr. Lucky to Find You” will be there.

  5. i met my husband when i decided not to care about men anymore!!! i had made a decision, that i would concentrate on my work,my friends, and family, because i have had it! i was 32…i knew my husband at that time, he was a friend of my brother’s, they worked together in an NGO… but he was far away from my “type”…one evening, we were all dancing and having fun when music was good, drinks abundant and the moods were great.. that night we had our 1st kiss, and the rest is history… it was just fate…and being ready to be happy alone (see comment above!)…looking hard is not the answer…being detached and ok with life right now is the way… 🙂

  6. I’m an online dater and although I have had horrible luck, if you go into it with a sense of humor and don’t take it so seriously, all the ‘questionable’ people on there are sort of entertaining. While you wait for a great one.

    I was on E-Harm and hated it for the reason you stated. Match is much better in that you can be more proactive about it. There is another site (not sure where you live, so hopefully it’s available) called OkCupid that’s not too bad.

    Although I am still searching (apparently in vain) to find that special guy for me, I hear stories of others that have been able to find their guys online. Maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones and really, you’ll never know until you try, so I say go for it!!

  7. I met my husband at a party 2 months after breaking up with someone I had lived with for a year. I was ready to have some fun and maybe get some attention, but not really ready for an actual relationship. He didn’t give me a choice!

    I doubt that helps you. But I was 29, so sometimes you just have to be patient.

  8. I only ever tried the free version of match, and all it seems that only freaks want to contact me! 😦 So I gave up.
    Online dating gives me the jeebees.
    That’s just my two cents.
    And don’t be an old spinster with cats, just think of all the vet bills… x

  9. I met my husband on plentyoffish.com. It was free so I liked that part. However, I did wade through a lot of guys before meeting my now husband. I was almost about to take a dating hiatus when I came across his profile. We met a couple days after talking online and I never looked back. I was 33 and had been by myself for quite a while, so don’t give up, you never know what could be around the next corner.

  10. Hilary and Lisa are spot on…first be happy with who you are as a person (sounds like you are) then join some groups or take a class (book clubs, athletic activities, volunteering, church, photography, hiking, etc) and you’ll meet people who not only are local but also share similar interests. I think that getting to know people while engaging in an activity is the least uncomfortable and it’s good to see how people act in public and treat others as well as seeing how they are with you when alone together.

    • I have tried that before but am limited due to my long work commute. I do agree they can be more comfortable, fun places to meet people in so maybe I need to look into that more. Thanks Melissa!

      • If you have time to create a profile, fill out questionnaires, and scan hundreds of profiles online as well as screen and go out on a few dates…then you have time to volunteer somewhere an afternoon a month or meet up with a book club one evening a month ;p

      • Haha yeah, actually the time to go on lots of dates is also holding me back from trying online dating 🙂 Most classes near me seem to start at 7pm before I’m even home from work!

  11. I met my loved one at dinner with a girlfriend right before I moved to Japan. He was funny and sweet, so we kept in touch electronically. Several years later, we met again and he showed me around my new town (Long Beach). We started dating a few months later, which tickled me: “Who’d have thought we’d end up having a child together, when we first met those years ago?” 😀

  12. We met my freshman year of college. He was the hot sophomore. Athlete. Swimmer/Basketball player. Bronzed, muscled and gorgeous. Ah yeah, he made quite the impression. 😉

    Most of my married friends met in college, many met at church and occasionally I hear of a mutual friend set up. I hear the gym is a pretty good place to look too. I only know one person who used an online dating service – one of my old professors. And it worked out perfectly for him. He and his wife are just the cutest couple! Love ’em to death. 🙂 Good luck, girl!

    • Aw cute! My college boyfriend didn’t last for long afterwards 🙂 Unfortunately the church population over here is much smaller and I don’t think I’d attract anyone sweating at the gym lol!

  13. I did the both, and more than once, but honestly they didn’t work for me. My friend LH has gone on a ton of dates from these sites but nothing really ‘long term’. If you want advice, from one single girl to another, join a group. I dont know if you have meetup.com in the UK but it is great. You find people who have similar hobbies and interests and do those things with these people. It is a great way to meet new people, make new friends, and do something you like or want to learn about. I think you are more likely to meet a potential mate in that scenario than on line.
    Plus, you must go in to it with a positive attitude. If you go in to the situation doubting and thinking it isn’t going to work, it isn’t. Positive positive positive!! Reap what you sow my friend.

  14. Vicky, I felt this way after breaking up with the guy who wasn’t for me. I dated him from 21-25. Then I spent 4 years meandering and wondering the same thing. Where are all the good, single guys? Ones with decent jobs, thank you.

    I met a couple of guys through friends. One was terrible, looser that took me a few months to get rid of, and the other was wonderful and although he enjoyed his time with me, wanted to return to Minnesota (a place I’d never move to) and I wasn’t “marriage” material for him. He rocked and was/is a great guy…but he didn’t want me that way. So on I went…

    When they say it will happen when you aren’t looking for it (and what Lisa said) it’s TRUE. I wasn’t looking too busy with restarting my life and moving to another area, went on an interview for a new job…and BAM- the guy interviewing me is now my husband. (over a very long period of time)I think it took us another 2 years to date, then we dated for 4 and then got married.

    SO

    Sometimes, things don’t happen on OUR schedule…but they do eventually happen when you least expect it…like falling down in public and someone helping you up…it’s random like sitting next to them on a flight somewhere.

    You do have to get out and about for chances to meet. Say volunteer at charity stuff, participate in events like 5ks, 10ks…the public library, attend events where guys go besides pubs. Just start striking up random conversations. SERIOUSLY, my friend started talking to a neighbor while they both walked their dogs at the same time. He normally wasn’t her type, but they had a great connection and now are dating!

    I suggest: DO SOMETHING NEW- not in the ordinary for you. It might be fun and give you an opportunity to meet some new people?

    Sandi
    http://www.ahhsome.wordpress.com
    Lake Forest, California USA

  15. I met all suitors thru work….very unromantic haha! Don’t stress Vix! I think online dating is the way to go. I have known a few friends who met their husbands through the internet and everything turned out great! I say don’t think about finding the one too much. Think ofit as meeting more new and hopefully interesting people that you won’t get to meet offline. Have fun and who knows, the special one may be just one of them. Think of finding the one as a boinus instead, go with the flow 🙂

  16. Alot of my friends have met their husbands off of Match, seems like it’s a good plan! Personally, I havent had too much luck with the online scene. I am up for an arranged marriage at this pt :/

  17. I met my husband at the Hardware Store. 😀

    Other good places to meet men ~ car washes, sporting events, and PetSmart.

    Enjoy the journey . . . and let Spirit Light The Way.

  18. I completely agree with you! I know I’m young but it seems like everyone I know is coupled up right now, and it’s getting quite lonely. I have faith that we’ll both find someone though! Best of luck to you! 🙂

  19. I met my boyfriend at a party when I was 16, and we got together a few months later. Only dated about six months (just wasn’t right at the time) but stayed really good friends and got together again when we were 24. Just couldn’t resist him… 😉
    I definitely think you should check out joining a class or a group of some sorts. There are internet sites for meeting friends too (I mean the kind that have group events for members, or let the members create events – not the kind where guys go undercover and really only just want to have a one night stand, hehe) They can actually be quite good, my friend met some good friends on one of those sites when she had to move to a new city! The prospects of meeting a significant other always go up with a bigger social circle! And if you are worried about the commute of the classes, you could maybe try to find a class close to your work?
    You could also try asking your friends/coworkers if they know anyone that they could set you up with. People love playing cupid 😉 My best friend got comments from her friend that someone the friend knew would be perfect for her, so on a whim she just sent him a message on facebook (didn’t know him at all). Messages turned to heartfelt letters and they’re having a baby in the fall 😀
    And I really like Sandi’s comment – people are everywhere and you never know when you might meet the man of your dreams! Just smile in the tube and look at everyone around you as potential friends – it’s amazing how much more fun it is to notice people instead of your shoes (I am guilty of that lots of times though – and my shoes aren’t even usually that fabulous 😛 )
    I am certain you will find an amazing man – you sure deserve it being such a great girl yourself! 🙂

    • Ah thanks Elin, great advice! Not sure about the tube suggestion, if I started making eye contact people would prob think I’m crazy lol 🙂 you’re so sweet!

  20. Let’s get together and go for a speed date in Surrey 🙂 At lest this way we’ll know stright away whether there is chemistry with a potential date or not 🙂

  21. I’d say go for it, girl! Nothing to lose! I met my bf in high school, so I don’t think that’s of any help. Most of my friends have met their guys through friends. Maybe talk to some girlfriends and see if they know anyone?

  22. I’m giving the internet dating system a go. 1st date – not good!! So I’ve changed my personal profile to really reflect the type of person I want to meet. No messing about and dithering. Say it how it is and what makes you tick. What you want out of life and the type of person you like being with!!

    Good luck

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