inspiration, Personal

Haters gonna hate

This morning, I pulled out my book to edit. I scrolled through my music and picked The Pretty Reckless. Listening to them and writing, I remembered a quote from their lead singer that seemed to fit my book and how I was feeling so I posted it on Facebook and Twitter:

Happiness is knowing yourself, loving yourself, and being yourself. F***k anyone who doesn’t get you – Taylor Momsen

I got a negative reply but instead of just letting someone have their opinion and stick to mine, I started to question myself and I deleted the post. I sat staring at my screen annoyed that I got so sensitive and took their words to heart. The person probably didn’t even think it would affect me. What was ironic was the quote is about being yourself and not caring in what others think! What a FAIL.

I confessed all to Twitter and got a flood of support – people telling me that ‘haters gonna hate’ and that my timelines are for me to post what I want to say and if people don’t like it they can unfriend or unfollow me. I definitely worry about what people think about me or say about me too much and unfortunately social networking just leaves you wide open for that kind of thing. I always prided myself that this blog is a happy and positive place and I try to be inspirational when it comes to being yourself and following your dreams so I felt the need to share this with you all. I don’t know why I let myself down like this.

Thanks to Beth from Limebird writers for this picture:

haters-gonna-hate

 

I’ve reposted the quote and am writing this post to make sure I and you guys won’t succumb to this again. I want to be myself online like I do offline and will keep trying to do this even if I don’t keep all my followers because of it 🙂

Have you ever felt pressure on social networking to not say what you want to say?

Victoria

xoxo

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34 thoughts on “Haters gonna hate”

  1. Hahahah! Ah, I love that cat. This owl is also relevant – http://memeorama.com/gifs/aww-yiss-owl/attachment/aww-yiss-owl/

    Is it difficult because you don’t want to offend anyone, but remember, it’s all opinion. If they’re not interested, then they’re probably not worth it anyway. Your blog/Twitter/Facebook is yours to say what you wish. As long as you’re not being offensive (eg racist, sexist etc etc), to an extreme, then surely people can’t get their knickers in a twist. I’m glad you reposted it! 🙂

    1. Aw the owl is co cute, you have a great picture finder!!

      EXACTLY. I’d never aim to be offensive to anyone and I’ve read things people have said and been offended but I’ve accepted it’s their opinion and I either unfollow or leave them to it. We can’t all think alike else the world would be very dull. Thanks for your support Beth!

  2. I have removed some statements when too many people seemed to get riled up or my post has unintended consequences, which involves heated argument. Not that I mind heated discussion, but it has to be a discussion, not an attack on each other. But sometimes I just have to say what I have to say, consequences be damned. I agree with the intelligent comments above, just aim to not be truly offensive. I don’t see how you could be.

    1. You’re right – it’s good to debate but not when it becomes a personal attack. Some people really get abused online and you wonder if anyone would actually say those things face-to-face. I always like who you talk about important things on your blog and that you speak out, keep it up!

  3. Gosh! I removed a status this morning. It was a link to something that could have spawned a discussion (or argument) on theology and I decided I didn’t want to start that online.

  4. Ew girl, I’ve been there. I wrote a post about how trying to please everyone and offend no one turned me into the Crazy Girlfriend of the blog world, all clingy and unsure of herself. I have to believe that it’s worth occasionally ruffling some sensitive feathers to be yourself, ALL of yourself, not a censored or cropped-down version.

  5. Oh, I have so been there, and I walk a fine line. Unfortunately, if you’re trying to build a ‘professional’ reputation online, you have to be careful about what you say and do because it may someday come back to bite you in the butt. That’s why I like having anonymous or pen names to post under. That way you can speak what you want without revealing your true ‘professional’ identity. Once we become famous, we can say what we want, but in that delicate stage when we’re creating our professional platforms, I think it’s a good idea to think twice sometimes. Remember, agents, publishers and employers sometimes check you out on social networking sites before they say “yes”. Just be careful that what they find will not hinder your chances for success. Remember, on FB, you can limit your posts to a certain audience. You can also open up a controversial topic and not comment once you see the posts going nuts. That way you’re viewed as a facilitator for debate, not an instigator for negativity.

    Love the owl, Limebirdwriters! I needed that today..

    1. This is so interesting because the first person to tell me to be myself and not care what people think today was my agent! This could we why we’re were a good match haha 🙂 I think you have to go with your gut about what to post and hope it serves you well.

      Also love when you say “once we’re famous” – HIGH FIVE to that!

      1. High five back at ya!

        I have no problem saying what you think. But I know me. It doesn’t take much for certain people to push certain buttons and before you know it, I’m in an online FB battle which could have been avoided if I’d kept my mouth shut. Sometimes it’s best to walk away and say “You know what, we don’t agree on this so let’s stop talking about it.” Also remember, your FB, Twitter and Blog are yours. You have every right to delete a comment you don’t like. That’s YOUR space. Haters can go away. BTW, I happen to think you’re always upbeat. I can’t imagine anyone saying something bad to you. If they do that again, let me know. I’ll unleash ‘the dragon’ on them!!! 🙂 🙂

      2. Definitely – sometimes you just have to accept you have different points of view, we can’t all think the same way!

        Thanks Jenny, that’s so sweet of you and I’d quite like to see this dragon unleashed but let’s hope it’s not needed haha!!! 🙂

  6. If that quote inspired you, then just post it! Don’t worry about them. Haha, sometimes I can get equally upset if I post something I really liked and it gets no likes on Facebook. 😛 At least someone was paying attention to you!

  7. Sometimes it takes guts to be yourself but if we all behaved the same then what’s the point? Being happy is about being yourself, the people who love you for who you are, are the people who matter. 🙂

  8. That cat made my day!! I tend to take things to heart quite easily, but I’m slowly learning that it’s important to take a stand. One of my new favourite quotes:”You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” -Winston Churchill.

    Your blog is one of my favourites, Keep up the great posts!

  9. Because my page was such a fount of positivity for so long, I was dismayed by the silence and even occasional snide remarks when I posted something that wasn’t 100% sunshine and kittens. I deleted a few of those posts myself. Over time, I saw that some folks unliked but others appreciated seeing the full human being. It made me grateful for the people who appreciate that people aren’t ever “just” one thing, and that it’s OK to let them be all of who they are. That’s been a great source of comfort to me.

  10. That’s an issue I have with social media; I never felt like I could safely say what I wanted to say and I wasn’t brave enough… so I deleted my Facebook. Turns out I was a lot better off without it anyway.

  11. Look. I’ve always loved your appraoch to your writing, and the way you’re attacking the book editing, and your generally friendly, ;positive approach to things, so stuff the “haters” and let them wallow in a misery of their own creation. Anyone who has any sense of you, including your Blogging Buddies, would just smile at those negative types and ignore them. Power to you.

  12. I am always censoring myself, on my blog, on FB, on Twitter — there are a lot of people who could easily be offended if I was to write everything I really, really want to write about. It’s like writing memoirs and how a lot of people wait until someone dies before they actually share the memoir to the world, lol.

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