inspiration, Musings, Poetry

When belief slips

Last week I saw Leona Lewis live and at the end of her show, she left this thought up for the audience:

Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

The show was a journey through love and heartbreak (matching the theme of her album Glassheart) and this ending to me said that just because you’ve loved and lost, something wonderful is around the corner. Don’t give up believing in love just because a love has ended. But you can apply it to life in general.

The phrase has stuck with me ever since. It reminded me of my ‘believe’ tattoo, which I got to inspire me to believe both in myself and that my dreams will come true. It’s hard sometimes to keep up this positive line of thought. When you’ve had disappointments or you’re just stuck waiting to find out what will happen, you start to question yourself and that demon on your shoulder pops up – you know the one, the one that says what you want won’t happen or tells you you’re not good enough for it to. The one that fills you up with self-doubt and conjures up the fear that that wonderful thing your waiting for will never appear.

I wrote a poem recently where I let out all the worries I had. Reading it back now you can see that the self-doubt demon was well and truly present:

Scared I’ve made a mistake

Waiting for my dreams to come true

Feeling like I’m not good enough

All my positivity feels fake.

My ambition is mocking me

The grey clouds of doubt circle above

All I hear is silence 

Maybe I no longer believe. 

Haunted by fear I’ll fail

Wishing I could see a sign

Trust in me fading fast

My hope preparing to set sail. 

So I’m trying to get my confidence back and to stay positive that good things are around the corner. I think belief is something you have to re-do over and over again. Something you have to use to push that self-doubt demon away on a regular basis. We all know writers struggle with believing in ourselves and I really am struggling right now.

I was grateful for the message in that concert. I really needed to hear it and I’m going to try to feel it this week.


How do you get back belief when you feel it slipping away?



16 thoughts on “When belief slips”

  1. You know that I am the queen of self doubt, but there is one thing I do that helps me get through it . . . and that is stop waiting. If I wait, I worry and wonder and feel horrible about everything that I convince myself won’t happen. However, if I keep busy and work on other things, then I am pleasantly surprised when something good happens, because I’ve knocked it out of my mind.

    1. That’s why we’re twins 😉 I try to distract myself but sometimes it’s just always there at the back of your mind and I’ll wake up in the middle of the night worrying about it, sigh. Worrying is such a waste of time, isn’t it?!

  2. You have doubts. It’s part of being human, but you also have a great ability to tackle them and self- motivate which is an example to many of us. Life is an adventure, and not all the events in it are planned, but you have shown a steadfast determination ever since I came across your Blog. You will achieve more than you ever imagine. Of that I’m sure. May the force be with you

  3. It can be tough work staying positive and strong in belief – I’ve faltered many times. I usually find that by getting back to myself for a while (going for a long walk in nature, listening to music, detaching from work, etc.), I can get a clearer perspective.

    Just know that there are many people who believe in you and your writing, including me!

  4. I was just reading a book about this! It was a Christian self-help type book, so it was more about believing in God and that he has the power to do great things through you than just strictly believing in yourself, but it was right along the same lines. It’s so easy to let doubt take over, to suddenly start wavering and thinking, “Is this really where I’m supposed to be? Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing with my life?” Especially if you’re surrounded by naysayers who want to tell you that you’re dreaming too big or being unrealistic. But you can’t listen to them…you have to keep following your dreams.

    Thanks for posting this, by the way. I really want to write, but the more brilliant novels I read, and the more I read your blog and see that you are a real live author with many novels under her belt and an agent and everything, I feel overwhelmed. I feel like, “How will I ever get THERE?” But knowing that you still feel that way, and that other real live authors feel that way too, makes me feel better. 🙂

    1. Thanks Rachel! I’d rather be honest about the process than pretend it’s all roses BUT it’s my dream and if it’s yours too you have to go for it! I hope you do 🙂

  5. Dear Victoria, I am so happy I found your blog! You are a poet! Say it to yourself and believe it—because, guess what–we need YOU! and, for your future days…YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! ALWAYS! Believe in yourself…I tried running away for years…I buried myself in “doing good deeds” for others…also a way to avoid looking at me…and being with me…take time to face your inner doubts…the more you love yourself, the more you are at home with your own being, the more you will realize that you are “good enough!” You live in the heart of God (stealing from Kahlil Gibran)—you are LOVE and if you believe in this…and it is essential that you do…you will save yourself from years of needless worry….you will have a jump on it! YOU are all YOU need to BE…live in a state of mindfulness and attention to the NOW. Leave the past—it is gone, over, not needed…YOU are NOW…Love yourself and LOVE LIFE! and continue to write with your honest heart….I love the HONESTY in what you wrote above! Forward! Love crystals to you, Victoria!

  6. Sometimes I let it go. It can’t always be there. It waxes and wanes. And when it’s not there, there is something I need to feel and find my way through. It may sound weird, but sometimes I need to doubt and lose faith. I need to question what I’m doing and I need to recommit to it. I need to get frustrated at the process and vent. For me, belief is like any fire it can burn low and almost out before it rekindles and warms me again. 🙂

    And in my opinion, you have done so very much in 1 year. You got an agent for your book–that’s huge. You’re submitting it to editors–a ginormous leap forward.

    1. I like that idea – turning it into a positive thing and using it to recommit, I will try this!

      Aw thanks Kourtney,I guess I do need to remind myself how far I have come.

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