Last week I saw Leona Lewis live and at the end of her show, she left this thought up for the audience:
Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.
The show was a journey through love and heartbreak (matching the theme of her album Glassheart) and this ending to me said that just because you’ve loved and lost, something wonderful is around the corner. Don’t give up believing in love just because a love has ended. But you can apply it to life in general.
The phrase has stuck with me ever since. It reminded me of my ‘believe’ tattoo, which I got to inspire me to believe both in myself and that my dreams will come true. It’s hard sometimes to keep up this positive line of thought. When you’ve had disappointments or you’re just stuck waiting to find out what will happen, you start to question yourself and that demon on your shoulder pops up – you know the one, the one that says what you want won’t happen or tells you you’re not good enough for it to. The one that fills you up with self-doubt and conjures up the fear that that wonderful thing your waiting for will never appear.
I wrote a poem recently where I let out all the worries I had. Reading it back now you can see that the self-doubt demon was well and truly present:
Scared I’ve made a mistake
Waiting for my dreams to come true
Feeling like I’m not good enough
All my positivity feels fake.
My ambition is mocking me
The grey clouds of doubt circle above
All I hear is silence
Maybe I no longer believe.
Haunted by fear I’ll fail
Wishing I could see a sign
Trust in me fading fast
My hope preparing to set sail.
So I’m trying to get my confidence back and to stay positive that good things are around the corner. I think belief is something you have to re-do over and over again. Something you have to use to push that self-doubt demon away on a regular basis. We all know writers struggle with believing in ourselves and I really am struggling right now.
I was grateful for the message in that concert. I really needed to hear it and I’m going to try to feel it this week.
How do you get back belief when you feel it slipping away?