When belief slips

Last week I saw Leona Lewis live and at the end of her show, she left this thought up for the audience:

Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

The show was a journey through love and heartbreak (matching the theme of her album Glassheart) and this ending to me said that just because you’ve loved and lost, something wonderful is around the corner. Don’t give up believing in love just because a love has ended. But you can apply it to life in general.

The phrase has stuck with me ever since. It reminded me of my ‘believe’ tattoo, which I got to inspire me to believe both in myself and that my dreams will come true. It’s hard sometimes to keep up this positive line of thought. When you’ve had disappointments or you’re just stuck waiting to find out what will happen, you start to question yourself and that demon on your shoulder pops up – you know the one, the one that says what you want won’t happen or tells you you’re not good enough for it to. The one that fills you up with self-doubt and conjures up the fear that that wonderful thing your waiting for will never appear.

I wrote a poem recently where I let out all the worries I had. Reading it back now you can see that the self-doubt demon was well and truly present:

Scared I’ve made a mistake

Waiting for my dreams to come true

Feeling like I’m not good enough

All my positivity feels fake.

My ambition is mocking me

The grey clouds of doubt circle above

All I hear is silence

Maybe I no longer believe.

Haunted by fear I’ll fail

Wishing I could see a sign

Trust in me fading fast

My hope preparing to set sail.

So I’m trying to get my confidence back and to stay positive that good things are around the corner. I think belief is something you have to re-do over and over again. Something you have to use to push that self-doubt demon away on a regular basis. We all know writers struggle with believing in ourselves and I really am struggling right now.

I was grateful for the message in that concert. I really needed to hear it and I’m going to try to feel it this week.

How do you get back belief when you feel it slipping away?

Victoria

xoxo

11 Comments

by Victoria-writes on May 14, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in inspiration, Musings, Poetry

Tagged inspiration, musings, poetry

Posted by Victoria-writes on May 14, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/05/14/when-belief-slips/

Dealing with reader expectations

This week the final book in the Sookie Stackhouse vampire series by Charlaine Harris (adapted as True Blood for TV) is being released. I’ve enjoyed this series from book one and am looking forward to reading the last one but the author has discovered that some fans can be a little over zealous when it comes to a successful books series. In this interview she describes the pressure that she’s feeling, the threats she’s had from ‘fans’ over her ending the series and how they expect the series to end, especially who Sookie will end up with. It has caused Ms Harris to decide not to do any promotion for the last book, which is a huge shame for readers who would have loved her to sign the final book regardless of how the book ends.

The books series is a long one – the final book is number thirteen and as a writer I can’t begin to imagine how hard it is to write that many books about the same characters, to juggle the number of characters and plot lines the series has and to still make each book it’s own story. It’s a real achievement and it’s a shame that some readers can’t enjoy the books there are and realise it’s time for the author to move on. I’d rather the series ends than read sub-par books that make it obvious the author just doesn’t care anymore. After reading the last book, I have my own ideas who I want Sookie to end up with BUT I’m well aware this is Ms Harris’ story to tell and it’s up to her to end it how she want to.

It’s kind of a double edge sword – you’d love your series to be popular and to have passionate fans but it must be so scary to receive death threats and abuse from them. On her Facebook page the author revealed that someone has posted the series ending and asked fans not to spoil it for others. I stopped reading the comments because people were even posting the ending on there after such a polite request not to. I just don’t understand why you would want to do that. I want to read the book for myself – it’s the only way you’ll understand why an ending was chosen and you might find you like it after all.

I hope Ms Harris can be proud of her series and that she will continue to take pleasure in writing. And I hope the fans will understand why she wanted to end the series on a high and why she chose the ending did. And above all remember that it’s only fiction after all

How do you think you’d deal with reader expectations on how a series should end?

Victoria

xoxo

10 Comments

by Victoria-writes on May 6, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Books, Musings, Writing

Tagged book, Charlaine Harris, musings, Sookie Stackhouse, writing

Posted by Victoria-writes on May 6, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/05/06/dealing-with-reader-expectations/

Sunday Songs

It’s probably not cool to admit I first heard this song on an advert but I don’t pretend to be cool and it’s a fab song so who cares AlunaGeorge – You know you like it:

I’m a big fan of Gabrielle Aplin and can’t wait to hear her first non-indie album out soon. This is Panic cord:

Kodaline are one of my favourite new bands this year and their debut album is out next month. Love like this:

This week I’m seeing Leona Lewis live on her latest tour named after her latest album and this song Glassheart:

Who have you been playing this week?

Victoria

xoxo

2 Comments

by Victoria-writes on May 5, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Music, Sunday Songs

Tagged music, Sunday Songs

Posted by Victoria-writes on May 5, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/05/05/sunday-songs-66/

No need to call it a guilty pleasure

I remembered a recent blog post by author Matt Haig last night. It’s called 30 things to tell a book snob and you can read it here. In the post, he talks about people fearing enjoying certain books because they’re told they’re not good enough. I like his first point the most “People should never be made to feel bad about what they are reading. People who feel bad about reading will stop reading.”

The reason this post came to mind was that I finished a book yesterday that I loved. It’s called SLAMMED by Colleen Hoover and it was one of those books that grabbed hold of me and didn’t let me go until the last page. I even shed a little tear at the end. SLAMMED is a story about a girl called Layken who moves to a new town with her family and falls for her dishy neighbour Will but a shocking revelation halts their romance and they have to decide whether to fight for their love or let each other go. It’s got romance but also deals with tragedy too and all of it is wrapped up with slam poetry. I can’t even explain why I enjoyed it so much and for me that means it’s something special. I don’t really want to think about why I like something or why others don’t – I just want to feel it.

Each chapter in book has lyrics from The Avett Brothers and this one stood out for me:

I love books that make me feel something. They don’t have to be considered high-brow or be literary masterpieces, they just need to make me feel something – happiness or sadness or just that feeling when you question life and love. Sometimes the books that have kept me turning the page feverishly have been panned by critics and I’ve realised that doesn’t matter. I loved them anyway. The same goes for music and films and TV shows or even art – anything creative really. Some of the things I enjoy might be critically acclaimed or popular or neither, it should’t matter if you find something to enjoy in it I don’t think.

As a writer, I long for someone to feel something after reading my work. I’d love them to read the last line of a book that I’ve written and feel they just read something special. To just enjoy my book. Because that’s what all creative things should be about – yes they could make you think, make you question things, show you something new but really what it’s about is making you feel an emotional connection to them.

So I’m not going to call things a guilty pleasure anymore – if you enjoy something there’s nothing to feel guilty about.

Have you ever been made to feel guilty about liking something?

Victoria

xoxo

13 Comments

by Victoria-writes on April 26, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Musings

Tagged Colleen Hoover, musings, Slammed

Posted by Victoria-writes on April 26, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/04/26/no-need-to-call-it-a-guilty-pleasure/

Sunday Songs

I’m pleased to see Sarah Bareilles back with another catchy song. I’m looking forward to her new album after hearing this. Brave:

I never class myself as an Avril Lavigne fan but I think I’m fooling myself as I have all her albums. This is her new single and I think I’m sold again. Here’s To Never Growing Up:

If you like Ed Sheeran you might like Passenger, this is a lovely slice of folk/pop. Let her go:

I’ve heard good things about new country artist Kacey Musgraves and her album is taking off over here. Merry Go Round:

I discovered A Rocket To The Moon on YouTube and fell for this song. I will definitely be buying some of their music. Never Enough:

This song is free to download on Paul McDonald’s website and I think it’s rather lovely. If you haven’t heard his music with wife Nikki Reed you really should. Counting Stars:

This has been my guilty pleasure all week, it won’t get out of my head. Little Mix – How Ya Doin:

Any recommendations for me?

Victoria

xoxo

4 Comments

by Victoria-writes on April 21, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Music, Sunday Songs

Tagged music, Sunday Songs

Posted by Victoria-writes on April 21, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/04/21/sunday-songs-65/

You are more beautiful than you think

I saw this video being shared around the internet and I finally watched it this morning. It’s six minutes long but I’m glad I took the time to watch it. Here it is:

Obviously this has been produced by a company trying to sell products but I think the message in the video is so important. Dove says that only 4% of women say they’re beautiful. In the video the women are asked to describe themselves so a sketch can be drawn and unsurprisingly they pick out all their flaws. Then someone is asked to describe how they see them and another sketch is made. The differences between the two pictures are marked. When describing themselves, they were critical and when others described them they were complimentary. They saw themselves as less beautiful than others saw them.

I think there are so many of us who struggle with how we look, are critical with how we look and spend too much time thinking about how we would change our appearances. I have definitely looked in the mirror before and thought about all the flaws I have. I just like the simple message in this video – that we are more beautiful than we think.

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we all have flaws, no one is perfect but this doesn’t stop us being beautiful, it’s our uniqueness that makes us beautiful.

Victoria

xoxo

23 Comments

by Victoria-writes on April 17, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Beauty, inspiration, Musings

Tagged beauty, inspiration, musings

Posted by Victoria-writes on April 17, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/04/17/you-are-more-beautiful-than-you-think/

Recent Reads

I’ve read some great books lately and had to share them with you guys:

Getting Over Garett Delaney by Abby McDonald

This contemporary YA book is about a girl who’s in love with her best friend who has no clue about it. When Garrett leaves for the summer and falls in love with someone else, Sadie decides she has to get over him for good. This book is loads of fun and has a great message about being yourself. Full of awesome characters, wit and a useful plan for getting over a boy, I loved it and will definitely be reading more from this author in the future.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

This adult thriller is everywhere right now with a film version to the way. It’s kind of impossible to review as it relies on unreliable narrators and lots of twists and turns that keep you guessing till the end. It’s about married couple Nick and Amy – when Amy goes missing, the finger of suspicion points to Nick – what is he hiding and what’s happened to Amy? It takes a few chapters for the first twist to come and then it throws more and more at us. You are left unsure just who to trust – it’s a real character study and I’m still thinking about it.

Losing It by Cora Carmack

This is a NA contemporary romance about a girl at college in America called Bliss who’s 22 and still a virgin. She resolves to lose it in a one night stand with a hot British guy called Garrett who she meets in a bar but the next day he turns up to her theatre class – as the teacher. This book was hilarious in places – Bliss is totally awkward at anything bedroom related and gabbles when nervous, I thought her character was well drawn and even though it’s unusual now for someone to be a virgin at 22 it was believable for this character. And Garrett – well, he’s HOT and looks after her when she’s sick *swoon*. This book was a fun read perfect for summer – it has romance and laughs and a gorgeously happy ending. I read it in a day

Follow Me Down by Tanya Byrne

This YA contemporary thriller is about a girl called Adamma Okomma who joins an English boarding school and makes friends with the fun but secretive Scarlett Chiltern. When the girls fall for the same guy, things fall apart. Scarlett goes missing and Adamma is determine to find out what happened to her even if it will reveals things she doesn’t want to know. This book is told with flashbacks and continues the edgy theme from Tanya’s first book. It’s a real page turner with some great twists and turns – I couldn’t put it down right up to the shocking end. I love finding great British YA books like this.

The Night She Disappeared by April Henry

This YA thriller is about a girl called Kayla who disappears whilst delivering pizza for a fake order but her colleague Gabbie learns the caller asked for her. This book is told from multiple points of view as we learn what happened to Kayla, who has her and why and how Gabbie deals with knowing she was the one who should have disappeared. This book raced along to the edge-of-your seat ending.

What are you currently reading?

Victoria

xoxo

8 Comments

by Victoria-writes on April 15, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Books, Reviews

Tagged book reviews, Follow Me Down, Getting Over Garrett Delaney, Gone Girl, Losing It, The Night She Disappeared

Posted by Victoria-writes on April 15, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/04/15/recent-reads-3/

Sharing your dream

This photo was on Facebook the other day and it struck me how true a statement it is. I remember how scared I was about telling people I had written a book, it felt like I was revealing a part of my soul and I was nervous they’d laugh or sneer. Luckily that didn’t happen but even now I’ve got over the sharing part, having your dream out in the open still produces insecurity and anxiety.

The problem with sharing your dream is that everyone starts waiting for that dream to come true.

Now that people know I want to be a published author, I am sometimes struck with panic about it not coming true. Having a secret dream is easier, if you fail no one knows and you can act like nothing happened but when everyone knows what you’re aiming for, they will also know if you don’t achieve it.

The only way I’ve been able to talk myself out of this fear is remembering that not everyone tries to make their dreams come true. And this is so important. Because you can’t fail if you try, you only fail if you don’t or you give up. It’s often said that you should never regret the things you do, only those you don’t and it’s better to say ‘oh well’ than ‘what if?’ What if is a scary concept and I’m glad that I decided to chase my dream. Yes, I worry about having to tell people my dream isn’t coming true but I know I’d be worse off if I wasn’t trying to make it come true.

Fear is a huge thing. Somehow writers seem to end up with self-doubt circling our heads on a daily basis but we write because we love to do it and the dream that someone will read our words and be moved or inspired by them makes the dark days worth it.

I don’t know if my dream will come true and yes I am scared that it won’t but I’m glad I’m trying to make it happen.

Were your scared to share your dream with people?

Victoria

xoxo

11 Comments

by Victoria-writes on April 12, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in inspiration, Musings, Writing

Tagged inspiration, musings, writing

Posted by Victoria-writes on April 12, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/04/12/sharing-your-dream/

Have YA writers never grown up?

Last weekend I finally got around to watching the film Young Adult. The title of this post is a quote from the film, the context is this:

Mavis: “You can come to the city with me like we always planned.”
Buddy: “Mavis, I’m a married man.”
Mavis: “I know we can beat this thing, together.”

The film is about a ghostwriter of a previously popular YA series that’s now being cancelled (I imagined Sweet Valley High obv) called Mavis who heads back to her hometown convinced she belongs with her high school sweetheart Buddy despite the fact he’s married with a new baby. It’s a dark comedy and I really enjoyed it but be warned Mavis is not a likeable character – selfish and insensitive and likely an alcoholic. She also can’t get high school out of her head.

It got me thinking about us YA writers – we are writing about teenagers for teenagers and I can see how you can get stuck in your past as you remember things that happened to you at that age or write a book about things you wish had happened to you. Mavis as a character is of course extreme and I’m sure no YA writer is that mean (well, I hope not) but watching her lying on the sofa with the Kardashian’s on in the background and her writing not going anywhere, I did catch a little glimpse of myself She also has a little dog that I want …

But for me writing YA is fun. I love reading it. I like writing and reading about the thrill of a first kiss, falling in love for the first time, overcoming bad situations, finding yourself. There are no limits. Thinking about my book I don’t think there is much of my teenage years in there (although it is set in the part of the world I live) but maybe I write the kind of book I would have wanted to read when I was a teenager. And the kind of one I want to read now as an “adult”. More adults read YA than teenagers and maybe it’s because we are all nostalgic for our earlier years, maybe we don’t want to grow up or maybe whatever age you are, you want to fall in love with stories and characters whatever shape and age they come.

And even though us YA writers spend a lot of time in the world of YA, I doubt many of us would actually want to go back to our teen years. For one thing we know what we like now and most importantly we can afford to buy our own books

So I’ll leave you with another quote from the film when someone from Mavis’ high school spots her in a local bar:

Matt: You move back?

Mavis: Of course not… gross.

Do you think YA writers haven’t grown up?

Victoria

xoxo

8 Comments

by Victoria-writes on April 11, 2013 • Permalink

Posted in Films, Musings, Writing

Tagged films, musings, writing, young adult

Posted by Victoria-writes on April 11, 2013

http://victoria-writes.com/2013/04/11/i-know-we-can-beat-this-thing-together/

Harry Potter Studio Tour

On Friday I went on the Harry Potter Studio Tour with family as a belated birthday treat. The tour is in the film studio where all the films were made and showcases the sets, costumes and props from the films. You get a fixed time-slot but you walk around the tour yourself. We had to wait a while to get in and in the queue you can view the cupboard under the stairs where Harry lived:

Once you’re let in, you see a short film and when it ends, the screen rolls up to reveal the doors that lead into the Great Hall:

The tables were laid for dinner and they had costumes for each of the houses at the house tables. This was the Gryffindor section:

At the top of the room is the teacher’s table with mannequins wearing the costumes:

You are led out of the hall and then you can walk around two indoor sets and one exterior set filled with HP goodies. The lighting is a bit dark so excuse the photo quality. It’s amazing how small the sets are in real life and shows how clever cameras can be. Here are some of my favourite sets (the boys dorm, the Gryffindor common room, Dumbledore’s office, Umbridge’s office and The Burrow):

Outside, we got to see the Ford car, no.4 Privet Drive, and the bridge at Hogwarts:

The second interior set shows you the creatures and how they were made and then you step into Diagon Alley filled with the shops from the films:

You then walk into the grand finale of the tour – the model of Hogwarts. They actually used this in the shots of the castle in the films adding in the countryside behind it and using clever camera angles to make it look like a full size castle. The model itself is huge and intricate and they change the lighting so you can see it in the daytime and nighttime:

The tour was lots of fun and I’d recommend it even if you’re not a massive HP fan. The tour ends in the shop predictably and it was very expensive. I was also disappointed that most of the items were for young boys – what about big girls Warner Bros?! I brought a poster of myself dressed as a wizard having escaped from Azkaban and we got a group shot flying in the Ford car. You can also have one taken on a broom. We spent about three hours in the studio and then headed home for food and bed.

I might have to accept now that my birthday is over